#it looks like you are in love with the soup and merle and magnus are very confused

[creamecream]

“Is he...is he okay? the hell is he doing?”

[into-the-clintoris]

Taagnus not as endgame but as meeting your high school sweetheart at the reunion and thinking about what could have been.

Like imagine them falling so completely and utterly in love during the stolen century that when they forget each other its a hole in their chests, raw and stinging when prodded so they leave it alone. Then they meet again and the hole is filled? Probably? I mean, it doesn't hurt quite so much and Magnus's heart glows when Taako makes him chicken soup and Taako's chest feels like it's full of something warm and heavy when he tucks under Magnus's arm to watch the stars but Merle...kind of makes them feel that way too so it must just be having friends for the first time in so long.

And then they remember. And it's like...you were my first love. I forgot you. But I didn't really. I loved someone else but I knew how to love them because of you. And I still love you. But...neither of us is the same person. Julia. Sazed. Raven's Roost. Glamor Springs. It's not even about the fact that Taako has Kravitz now. Its...I don't think I could love you the same way any more, even if I had the energy to try. I think too much has happened. I think too much of me has changed.

Like I just think that Magnus will never be ready to love someone like that again, after Julia. Not even Taako. And it's easier to let him be happy with Kravitz than to untangle this mess.

And I think Taako wants uncomplicated, for once in his life. I think he wants to start over, one last time, and for this time to last, instead of 100 years of wiping the slate clean every year.

And on top of all that, one of them is a human and the other is an elf!! It didn't matter when they died and came back every year, but it does now. It all matters now and--

I think they kiss. Once. I think they gain their memories back and they can't fucking help but squeeze each other tight and kiss each other like they're oxygen. I think they cling to each other, because they forgot, and now they remember and its so good to have you back, I missed you even though you were right there almost but not quite.

I think they kiss. And then they look at each other and realize that this part of their lives is behind them. I think they decide, I can love you, but not like this. I want my best friend back. I thought you'd be the only love I'd ever have but look, I found it again! It hurt to lose you,, but I found love without you. But you... I'll never have you again. So let me have you. As a friend. Different, not less.

Taagnus, not as endgame, but as a memory.

[patriciasage]

Dawn Patrol

Author: Patricia_Sage

Fandom: The Adventure Zone - Balance

Summary:

Magnus blushes and he looks at Taako with stars in his eyes. He looks at Taako the way Barry probably looks at Lup. And Barry realizes how fucking stupid he’s been.

[a Stolen Century story - Barry thinks Magnus is flirting with Lup. He's wrong.]

posted in full under the break but you can find me on A03!!

Barry Bluejeans has a crush on Lup the moment he sees her on his first day with the I.P.R.E., but he falls completely and permanently in love with her around Cycle 10.

He speaks the mongoose language with her and Taako like they’re a secret club, and her soft, mischievous smile makes his heart flutter. Barry and Lup combine their expertise of science and arcana, respectively, staying up late into the night drawing diagrams on the Starblaster’s wall. She tells him about her childhood, about how she views the world. She’s vulgar, bold, impulsive, but also incredibly soft and sweet. She remembers what he likes and doesn't like to eat. They play fetch together in Puppy Town and that’s the first time Barry imagines her as his wife. He tells his brain to slow the fuck down; they’ve only known each other for a decade.

When Taako dies for his first time in Cycle 12, Lup prefers to spend nights with Barry in his lab, curled up in his desk chair. Barry gladly provides his company and cozy blankets to her in solace, and she barely leaves his side that year. It’s nice to spend so much time with her, but it also hurts him to see her so sad and trying so hard to hide it. When Taako materializes next to her on the deck as they speed away from another consumed world, she hugs her twin for at least two full minutes, and Barry resolves to do his best to protect her…and protect her heart.

Barry thinks he might have a chance. After all, they are a crew of seven, and one of them is her brother. He figures that Lup might want him, even if it’s just for a night (and although he wants more with her, so much more, he would take anything she offers). But it seems he’s not the only one carrying a flame for Lup.

Magnus Burnsides is a huge, handsome, kind young man who has never half-assed anything in his life. So, when he begins to flirt with Lup it’s pretty obvious. He’s constantly showing off, doing ridiculous and dangerous things to impress her. He attempts to learn more about elf culture and magic, talking animatedly to Lup and Taako while they cook supper. He’s courteous, charming, and brave in ways that Barry could never mold himself.

Magnus also notices how Taako’s death affected his sister, and he seems to make the same resolution as Barry. From that day forward, Magnus always has Taako’s back, even going so far as to put himself in danger to protect the wizard. In Cycle 16, Taako is retrieving the Light of Creation and sets off a trap. Before Barry can even react, Magnus leaps forward and pushes the elf out of the way. Magnus is impaled by six spears. When the fighter appears on the Starblaster with his signature black eye months later, Taako punches him hard in the arm. “Don’t do that again, you big idiot!” There's a stone in Barry's stomach as Lup kisses Magnus on the cheek and quietly thanks him.

Compared to Magnus, Barry feels small and boring and incapable.

It’s not even possible to hate Magnus, though, because he’s so damn hospitable. Instead, Barry resigns himself to the fact that Lup will likely choose the fighter over him. He enjoys her company, tries to keep everyone out of trouble, and finds contentment in this seemingly endless time with his new family.

The Beach World on Cycle 21 is a welcome reprieve. They find the light very early and everyone just relaxes for once. Even Merle enjoys himself as he recovers in the med bay; the others visit him often and begrudgingly help him work on his book of poetry. Davenport practices self-care, Lucretia gets lost in her art, and Taako learns how to surf. But things aren’t too leisurely because Magnus decides he’s going to “train” them to be ready for surprise attacks.

Barry is sitting on the beach next to Lup one hot morning. She’s lying on her back on their beach blanket with a large, floppy hat covering her eyes. She’s resting her arms under her head, telling Barry about a festival her aunt took her to when she was a kid. Barry is trying very hard not to be completely distracted by the sight of her armpit hair, her stylish bathing suit, and her beautiful, brown skin shining in the sun. Barry, in contrast, is sitting under a huge umbrella, wearing a white T-shirt, jean shorts, and a thick layer of sunscreen.

Suddenly, a huge shadow covers the sun and a loud voice shouts, “Magnus!”

Barry yelps and drops his glass of lemonade on the blanket. Magnus sinks to his knees in the sand so he’s eye-to-eye with the scientist. “You gotta be ready, Bluejeans. Anywhere, anytime.” He smiles over Barry’s shoulder. “I didn’t get you at all, did I?”

Lup has lifted up her hat a little to look at them, but her relaxed position is unchanged, unbothered. She smirks, “You’re going to have to do better than that, Burnsides.”

Magnus winks. “Challenge accepted.” Barry feels like a jellyfish blob on the sand between them.

And then Magnus takes off his shirt.

It takes all of Barry’s self-control not to throw himself into the ocean and let himself drown. Magnus has these ridiculous broad shoulders, an even patch of hair across his chest, and his stomach protrudes over his waistband only slightly in that sexy way. His skin is browned and freckled from long days in the sun and his ridiculous biceps flex as he throws his shirt on the blanket next to them. Barry, in contrast, is a pale potato of a man.

He’s ready to get up and leave them to their flirting when Magnus speaks up. “Well, see ya later!”

Magnus hands Barry his now empty lemonade glass and then stands up, brushing sand off of his hairy legs. He sprints across the beach until he’s met with the resistance of the water, making a huge splash. “Hey! Taako!”

Caught up in conversation with Lup, Barry had forgotten about the wizard. Taako is sitting on his surfboard, floating on large but gentle waves about thirty feet away from shore. He’s retying his long blonde hair up into a messy bun. “Hey, big guy. What’s crackin?”

“Just doing some training, you know?”

“Yeah, you got Barry good.”

“How’s surfing today?”

“It’s going off. I’ve only been in the soup a few times but that was early in the morning. Dawn patrol, am I right?”

Magnus laughs. “Yeah, for sure.” Taako has been almost creating his own language at this point.

Beside Barry, Lup snorts. “What the fuck does that even mean?” she says. “Magnus shouldn’t encourage him like that but, eh, you know how he is with Taako.”

“How he –” Barry looks back over at the fighter and it’s like a crisp breath of air enters his lungs. Magnus has sat himself on the sand with his feet in the water. He rests his chin on his hand and watches Taako prepare to carve another wave. Magnus cheers when the wizard stands on the board and laughs when Taako falls into the water. Taako’s long hair is out of its bounds again, cascading over his bare, dark shoulders. As he climbs onto his surfboard, he flips Magnus off. Magnus blushes.

Magnus blushes and he looks at Taako with stars in his eyes. He looks at Taako the way Barry probably looks at Lup. And Barry realizes how fucking stupid he’s been.

Magnus hasn’t been flirting with Lup. Barry has only seen him flirt when they’re both with Lup and Lup is with Taako. And Barry was so immersed in his own insecurity that he didn’t stop to actually observe what was going on around him. Some scientist he is.

At the end of the day, Barry watches Magnus offer to carry Taako’s surfboard back to the cabin. Taako, forever dramatic, convinces Magnus to carry him back as well. It doesn’t take much convincing. Barry looks at Magnus’s pleased and flustered expression with Taako latched onto his back, complaining, and Barry internally ridicules himself for being so dense.

A few days later, Barry asks Taako to teach him to swim. They work on it every morning for a few weeks. It’s brutal in the beginning – Barry flounders whenever he tries to go horizontal and Taako has a tendency to point and laugh rather than help. But they both get better at it and soon they have an amicable and productive routine. Barry goes from indiscriminately splashing to a solid doggy paddle to an almost front crawl. And Taako claps and coos at him like a proud mother.

On the last day of their morning swimming lessons, Barry thanks him and gets up the courage to have an honest discussion. “There have been times where I haven’t been able to hang out with everybody because y’all go swimming and there are times where there’s people I, like, you know, want to hang out with and I just haven’t been able to do it and that’s not a good look and it makes me look like a big nerd and I um… It’s just that— I just, like— I don’t know. It’s… Never mind, it’s stupid. Thanks for teaching me how to swim.”

“Who are you afraid of looking silly in front of?” Taako asks. They’re both standing waist-deep in the water and Barry tries to make his anxiety dissolve. Taako’s approval means the absolute world in this situation.

“I look up to Lup a lot…” he admits.

And Taako is graciously chill. He places his hand on the scientists’ shoulder comfortingly and speaks with rare seriousness. “Barry, you’re locked in and this wave’s crashing all around you, my man, and I— I don’t begrudge you anything. You know, we’ve lost a lot, uh, and there’s a lot more we might lose...but the one thing we do have is the thing that people in love rarely ever have enough of – and it’s time.” This is a side to Taako that he doesn’t show often, someone genuine and wise and openly affectionate.

The wizard’s words echo in his head often – “You got all the time in the world, my man.”

Barry is feeling relieved and grateful as he walks from the beach that day with his sunhat on. Lup will tease him about his sunburn but it will be worth it to be able to swim with her. As he reaches the part of the beach where sand transforms into foliage, something stops him in his trek – the sight of a hulking figure sitting on a rock. It’s Magnus. “Is this another training thing?” Barry asks cautiously as he approaches.

Magnus doesn’t look up. He seems dejected. “No, it’s not. I’m just thinking.”

“Um,” Barry fidgets with the string on his swim trunks. “You alright? What’s going on?”

“I dunno, you tell me, Barry!” Magnus says, gesticulating with his large hands. “What’s going on with these morning swimming sessions?”

Magnus looks disappointed and self-conscious; a combination Barry is very familiar with. He has to remind himself to close his mouth.

Magnus Burnsides is jealous of Barry Bluejeans.

Barry begins to laugh. This just makes Magnus’s cheeks turn red and his eyebrows furrow even more. “Fine, okay, you don’t need to –”

“No, no,” Barry interrupts, approaching the fighter. He places his hand on Magnus’s huge bicep. “Magnus, I don’t know how to - … Okay. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I’m not worried. You’re a good guy. It’s fine. I just thought that maybe…” Magnus shakes his head, and his expression clears. “I asked him if he could teach me to surf and he said he was too busy teaching you to swim so I guess I was just disappointed because I really wanted to…learn how to surf.”

“Magnus. Taako doesn’t want to…swim with me. And I only asked Taako to teach me because I wanted to swim with Lup.” Magnus looks up at him with hopeful dark eyes. “I really want to swim with Lup. I think I want to swim with Lup for the rest of my life.” Barry chuckles. “For a long time, I thought you wanted to swim with Lup!”

Magnus lets out a startled laugh of his own. “No, I… I want to, uh, swim with Taako. But I’m not sure he wants to swim with me.”

“Well, he doesn’t want to swim with old Barry, that’s for sure.” Barry shrugs. “I can ask Lup, maybe? She’ll know.”

Magnus stands up from the rock. His shoulders are relaxed now. “No, it’s okay. I think he needs more time. I’ll ask him myself one day.”

The Beach World is a gift they didn’t know they needed. They grow closer as a family. Lucretia commemorates it through portraiture. Lup and Taako continue to be firecrackers, burning bright, loud, and dangerous. And Barry and Magnus continue to stare with stars in their eyes.

Merle, Lucretia, and Davenport make bets.

In Cycle 25, Merle wins.

[a-solitary-marshmallow]

Alone - Chapter 3

Lup remembered getting sick.

She remembered feeling an itch in her lungs, and Taako looking terrified, and being so very hot. She vaguely remembered trying to comfort him. She would get through this. She wouldn’t leave him alone. She would fight her hardest to stay with him.

That was the last thing she remembered, when light burst behind her eyelids and she felt herself reforming on the deck of the Starblaster.

Lup’s eyes flew open, taking in the darkness of space around them. At the helm Davenport was looking around, as if trying to figure out how he’d gotten there. He’d been piloting the ship, right?

No, Davenport had kicked the bucket before she did. Did Taako fly the Starblaster? He must have, if they were all back.

Taako. Shit, Lup had died, hadn’t she? Taako’s hand was in hers but it was cold and limp. Lup whirled to grab his shoulders.

“Oh my gods, Ko, I’m so sorry! I said I wouldn’t leave you and then I went and got sick too, fuck.”

Taako stared at her with tear-filled eyes. Stared at her like she was a ghost. It was a look she’d never seen on her brother before, and it scared her. Lup shook him gently.

“Koko?”

He didn’t respond and Lup shook him harder, her voice cracking.

“Taako!”

He lunged forward and wrapped his arms around her. Lup squeezed her brother tight as he clung to her, sobs bubbling up in his chest. Gods. She’d really fucked up this time. Lup hugged her twin as tight as she could and buried her face in his hair.

“Hey, Koko, it’s okay. I’m here. We’re all here.”

Soft footsteps. Lup lifted her face to see the rest of the crew watching with concern on their faces. Magnus stepped forward and reached out to touch Taako’s back, then hesitated.

“What happened?” He asked.

“Um. Well, we all carked it.” Lup very carefully did not let go of her shaking brother. Holy shit, Taako was crying in front of everyone. Like he didn’t even care anymore. “Pretty early in the year, actually.”

Magnus winced. “Damn. I kinda hoped you guys would both make it.”

“Nope. Just Ko.” Lup glanced up to Barry. The sight of him alive and well made her heart sing, but right now she had bigger things to deal with. “Care-Bear, help me take him to his room?”

“Um, yeah, sure Lup.”

With their combined guidance, they led Taako to his room. The door hung open. It was exactly as it was the last time Lup saw it, early last year. Exactly, except for the thick layer of dust. What the fuck? Had Taako not even been in his own room?

Apparently not, because Taako was walking directly past to go into a different room – Barry’s.

“Ko?” Lup said gently. Taako jumped.

“Oh. Uh, yeah, right. Gotta give Barry his space huh?” Taako’s voice shook. His hand was very cold in Lup’s. Taako gave her a brittle smile and Lup returned it before turning to a rather confused-looking Barry.

“Bar, do you mind if we take this to your room?”

“Sure.” Barry shrugged, and Lup walked forward, pulling her brother and her boyfriend with her.

Taako immediately went to the bed. Lup and Barry watched as he pulled himself up and hugged his knees to his chest, with none of the flamboyance Taako usually embodied.

“Can we join?” Lup asked. Taako nodded. She crawled up to join him, pulling his head into his lap to play with his hair. Barry hesitated, uncertain. Lup motioned him over and he sat on Taako’s other side with one hand on his leg, the other hand held in Lup’s.

Gods, Taako was still shaking. Lup paused to gather her thoughts before asking quietly, “Was it that bad?”

“It was kinda shitty.” Taako muttered, which made Barry snicker. The soft human shuffled closer until his shoulder was nearly touching Lup’s with Taako curled up between them. It was a testament to Taako’s upset that he didn’t complain or kick him. “Really quiet without all you dipshits around.”

“Gee thanks.” Barry said dryly. “By the way, was that a calendar I saw on the way here?”

“Shut up Bluejeans, calendars are for weaklings.”

“Sure, sure. But hypothetically, if someone had made and filled out a calendar in the last year, is there a reason they would have stopped filling it out part-way through?”

Taako shifted on Lup’s lap. “Well the months-long winter with no day or night cycles might fuck with someone’s sense of time. Just a theory.”

“Hmm.”

Lup ran her hands through her brothers hair a few times before saying, “I’m sorry I left you. I really tried.”

Taako made a sound that didn’t sit well with her – a bitter noise. Lup’s ears flattened.

“What’s wrong?”

Taako shook his head stubbornly. “Nothing.”

“Taako we’ve lived together for a hundred and fifty years. I know when you’re lying to me you little shit. What’s going on?”

Taako turned his head away, but now Lup was getting worried. Well, more worried than before.

“Taako.” She said warningly.

“Ah, fuck, whatever.” Her twin muttered. “No big deal, ‘kay? Just didn’t want you to suffer. Your boy-toy over here made it look painful.”

Lup stiffened.

“I mean, dying from a fever sucked big-time.” Barry said. “I don’t get it. Lup?”

Shit. “Taako, tell me you didn’t.”

“You were dying!” Taako defended. “Sorry if it pisses you off, next time I won’t-”

“I’m not mad because of me, who fucking cares?” Lup shouted. Taako’s ears flattened. “Gods, Taako, you shouldn’t have to – shit.” She tugged at her hair. Her vision was blurring as tears welled up. “Taako, I love you, I couldn’t – you shouldn’t have had to do that. I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” Barry demanded. Taako threw an arm over his eyes so he didn’t have to look at them.

“For making me kill my fucking sister. Gods, Barold, read between the lines will ya?”

“Um.” Barry said. And then, “Oh. Oh.”

Lup groaned. Just imagining it – a year alone, a year knowing you had killed your best friend, and yeah, sure, it was a mercy killing but… “Shit, Taako.”

Her twin glared up at her. “Oh, like you can say you wouldn’t do the same thing for me?”

Lup flushed. “That is entirely besides the point.”

“Will you guys just shut up and hug me? It’s been like a year, Taako deserves a fucking hug already!” Taako snapped. It would have been bratty if his voice hadn’t cracked, if his eyes weren’t swollen and red-rimmed from crying, if he wasn’t still shaking. Lup kicked herself. Sure, she could be upset and mad at herself later. Right now her brother was hurting.

Lup pulled Taako back into her lap and ran her fingers through his hair, Barry leaning against her side and rubbing Taako’s arm soothingly. What a teddy bear. She loved Bluejeans so fucking much.

Taako buried his face in her jacket and kept shaking.

“Hey, Barry, can you- um.” A voice hesitated. Lup glanced up to see Magnus’s burly silhouette in the doorway. “Are we doing cuddle piles? Can I join?”

Lup waved him over and Magnus hurried to join them with a gleeful smile. He crashed onto the bed next to them, sending the bedsprings creaking, happily settling in with his torso laying across Taako’s legs and his arms reaching up to wrap around both Lup and Barry. That did not look comfortable for the big guy. Magnus was warm and solid and Taako grumbled a greeting, patting the human’s arm blindly.

“Thanks for the soup.” Magnus added to the half-buried elf. “Sorry for kicking the bucket before I got to finish it. I promise it was really good.”

Barry made a sound. “Hang on, did you die in the middle of a meal?”

“I was very very sick!” Magnus defended. “I lasted longer than you anyway, Denim in Distress.”

“Hardy ha.”

Magnus perked up. “Oh! Hang on, we need to get the others in here! CUDDLE PILE!” The sudden yell made Lup flinch.

“You can’t seriously think that the others will-”

The frantic tapping of footsteps cut Lup off and then Lucretia flew through the door and tackled someone (maybe all of them, at this point it was hard to tell) in a hug. Magnus laughed in delight and reached up to catch her before she slid off the bed. Lucretia stared at them, wide-eyed and red-cheeked.

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry. I just, I didn’t know if you’d want me to join and then I heard…”

“Of course we do, ‘Cretia.” Lup cajoled. “Get in here. We’re cheering up Taako.”

Lucretia’s smile was less shy than usual, bright and glowing. “In that case, how can I resist?”

She slid herself next to Magnus and rubbed slow circles on Taako’s back. Soon they were joined by Merle, who quirked an eyebrow before flopping straight onto the pile, and Davenport, who entered under the guise of looking for the crew and joined for the sake of ‘team bonding’. Like Lup couldn’t see the content smile on his face.

 Yeah, things kinda sucked for Taako right now. But the Starblaster was filled to the brim with life, and for the first time in months he slept a deep, dreamless sleep.

“Did it.” He mumbled, teetering on the edge of unconsciousness. Someone hummed sleepily and someone else muttered something about responsibility while a third person told them to shut up and enjoy the moment. “Fuckin did it.”

[desiree-harding]

Cold Hands, Warm Heart

Based on that one post by @thepensword about how Taako is always cold. Can be found here. Plus an idea I’ve had for a long time but never written about.

Cw for swears, kids. Be safe out there. But other than that it’s light angst with a fluffy chaser and a dash of Lore.

Enjoy!!!

*~*~*~*~*

Positively stomping through the streets of Neverwinter, Taako, for the thousandth time, curses the city for its positively idiotic name.

“Neverwinter”, his ass. Maybe they should have gone with “UsuallyWinter,” or “JustAsMuchWinterAsAnywhereElse,” or “CanWeReallySayThatAnythingOnThisOneSunnedPlanetIsn’tWinter.”

Because, you see, Taako is cold.

Taako is always cold.

It’s a holdover from a plane long behind them. Two-sunned elves have different traits than those of Faerun. Ears that move. Different colored eyes.

Different body temperatures.

Taako is a sun elf. A sun elf from a planet with two suns. He was made for warmth. More warmth than here. And even on two-sun he ran a little colder than the other elves he knew. But there, the extra warmth was enough to compensate. He’d tan in the summer, he’d soak up the rays and wear sleeveless shirts and live for the suns.

Faerun has one sun. On Faerun the long sleeves and pants, the heavy coat with the dozens of pockets he wore adventuring were more than just good sense - they helped him stay fucking warm.

It’s not even fair because Lup isn’t even cold all the time. Lup feels fine. Mostly. She gets a little chilly but it’s nothing a jacket can’t fix, and now she’s a Reaper and something about that helps too (Taako doesn’t know what). Taako’s body doesn’t work that way. And to top it all off, ever since Wonderland, when those fucking liches stole some of his vitality, it’s gotten even worse.

The snowy winter days in Fucking Neverwinter are hell to the multiverse’s favorite wizard, because no matter how many layers of coats and scarves and gloves and enchanted wizard hats he throws on, he can’t get warm.

He turns off the road, starts making the hike up the hill to his house which looks out on the Stillwater sea. He liked the walk when he bought the place. Lined it with trees and flowers that Merle and Pan blessed to grow big and beautiful.

He bought the place in the summer.

Magic should help. It doesn’t. First lesson he ever learned on the road with Lup: no matter how good a wizard you think you are, you never directly influence body temperature using magic. It’s too powerful, too volatile. Transmutation on the body was a risk they were willing to take. Watching your sibling’s blood boil just because you got a little chilly was not.

He finally makes it up to his front door, pushes inside, and sighs in relief.

Ever since the first chills of autumn in the city, every fireplace in Taako’s home, of which there are many, has been running almost nonstop. Is it a fire hazard? Probably. Does Taako give a shit? Maybe ten percent of one. He’s got more money than anyone else in the damn planar system. He can buy a new house.

(But he likes his villa-styled sprawling house by the sea. Likes the herbs in the window boxes and the flowers in the front and back. Likes the view of the water. It would be a shame if it burned down.)

The fireplaces help. But not enough. Never enough.

He takes off his outermost layer for the sake of the snow caked on it, but keeps on everything underneath it. Stupid, he thinks, to wear a full coat and scarf inside of his own house. But he doesn’t know any other way.

He walks through the foyer, and there.

The man of the hour.

Kravitz.

He’s reclining on the couch, close by the fire, book in one hand and glass of red wine in the other, wearing his usual suit without the jacket and shoes. He looks...

Well.

Taako knows how he looks (miraculous).

The worst thing about the winter is the space it’s put between him and his boyfriend.

Six months after Story and Song, and Taako, against all odds, is living with Kravitz. As in, Kravitz lives in his house. Kravitz drinks his wine and moved in his books and plays piano here and sleeps in Taako’s bed.

Well, most of the time.

Kravitz, who’s hands were ice cold on his and Taako’s first date, who tried to warm himself up for their first kiss, is fucking freezing to the touch in the winter.

It’s been a solid couple of months since Taako and Kravitz have cuddled without at least three or four layers between them, and by then Taako could pretty much have just bought a weighted blanket for all the good it does him. It’s hard to satisfy that craving for skin contact from the person you... care about when said skin contact feels like hugging an ice sculpture.

Kravitz looks up, puts down his glass of wine.

“Evening,” he says, mildly, as though testing the waters. And that’s what does it for Taako.

“Hey,” Taako says, immediately turning into the kitchen, not looking at Kravitz, because he just can’t.

Ever since the winter started, and Taako, out of necessity, started shying away from Kravitz’s touch, things have been... weird.

Taako knows that Kravitz isn’t the kind to speak up about this kind of thing. They’re working on it, but it’s been so long since he’s been in a relationship, so many mortal things are new to him. Taako knows this. And yet... breaching this issue, to which Taako has no solution, trying to communicate to Kravitz that he wants him while constantly having to push him away is... frustrating. What Kravitz wants is for Taako to be happy, for Taako to be comfortable. He says it constantly. He insists. And it’s the insisting that’s the problem.

Because Taako knows that even if he’s not saying it, Kravitz isn’t happy either.

And now when Taako comes home, and tries to spend time with his boyfriend, there’s all this horrible... space between them. When Taako’s cold, it seeps into his words and his actions, until all of him is cold, not just his body, not just his skin. Until he’s cold to people he cares about, and apologies come slow and with difficulty, and then the damage has been done.

Taako starts on a simple soup, no energy to make anything flashier, and still refusing to use magic in the kitchen. He hates the way all the extra clothing gets in the way of cooking. Hates the way the warmth of the stove only does so much.

Kravitz eats with him that night, and they talk, but it’s a weird, shy conversation, both of them anticipating what comes after.

What comes after is Kravitz sitting on the other side of the couch pretending to read while Taako shivers and pretends too.

What comes after is Taako going about his evening routine before slipping into bed in a full onesie and under about five blankets. It’s Kravitz dressing in flannels to try to shield Taako from the coldness of his skin, and then the two of them, side by side. Lying on their back and staring up at the ceiling, as they wait for sleep to come.

It’s a long wait, when one of them is an elf and the other doesn’t sleep naturally.

And there’s the thing about Kravitz: he’s not just without warmth. He’s actively cold. His body radiates cold like a living person’s radiates warmth. It’s only been a few minutes and Taako’s already shivering.

“I’m sorry,” Kravitz says from his side of the bed. And he sounds so fucking defeated and sad and Taako feels bad but he also feels annoyed. Because he’s cold. Because why can’t Kravitz just be a normal fucking person. Because Kravitz won’t talk to him and he won’t talk to Kravitz and this whole situation is just a goddamn nightmare.

“Not your fault,” Taako says, but the words have been said so many times they hardly mean anything anymore. He can feel how flippant they sound. He can feel the way they don’t sink in, how they bounce off Kravitz’s skin like Taako doesn’t care.

I do, he tries to broadcast. I promise I do.

“I think maybe it would be better if I stayed up tonight.” Kravitz says, like it’s an idea he’s only just had, not something he’s been saying nearly every night these days, like it’s not the new normal, like he truly believes that they still sleep in the same bed and touch each other and they aren’t on the verge of -

Kravitz slips out of the bed, pads gently out of the room and shuts the door behind him. And Taako turns over in bed, ignoring the tightness in his throat and trying, desperately, to get warm.

*~*~*~*~*

Candlenights comes, as it always does, despite the coldness in Taako’s house and his heart.

And Taako’s happy for it, really. He didn’t harbor any delusions about everything being beautiful and shiny and sparkly so close to the apocalypse, and in the aftermath of it. The world is still healing from a colossal wound. But he’s hosting, at least. He’s always been a good party planner. Lup is there and so is Barry. Merle comes up from the coast with his kids. Magnus and his dogs. Angus, visiting on his break from school. Davenport is still abroad, and Lucretia is conspicuously absent (no amount of begging from Lup could convince Taako to let her into his house), but it’s... good. Cozy, almost.

Taako even cooks for everyone, Lup assisting, and ignores the careful distance Kravitz keeps from him and from most of his family. The meal goes off without a hitch, save Taako’s shivering. He can see the sympathetic eyes Magnus keeps making at him, wants to glare and snap and tell him to fuck off, but he doesn’t. Just because the cold makes him crabby doesn’t mean he has to be an asshole.

He has a thick will blanket wrapped around him elegantly, like a shawl, while they’re unwrapping presents. Lup smiles brightly at the diamond earrings Kravitz got her, and Taako’s heart swells a little. Angus loves his books. Kravitz gets Taako a set of jewelry done up in gently curling silver and sapphire and pink tourmaline, because he’s a romantic, and Taako tries to ignore how... wiggly it makes him feel.

He wants to kiss him. He doesn’t.

Taako saves Lup’s gift for last, as is tradition.

It’s a tiny little box, which Taako had first been terrified was from Kravitz and then relieved wasn’t, and it’s as light as a feather.

Because, Taako discovers, there’s nothing inside.

Nothing, that is, except a tiny ivory card with scrolling golden text on it. It reads:

Command word: flambé.

Love, Barry and Lup! :)

“What the fuck, Lulu?” Taako asks, turning the card over and over in his hands.

“Oh fuck off, Taako,” Lup says good-naturedly from Barry’s lap. Gross. “You’ll thank me later. Well, thank us.”

And isn’t that fucking cryptic, he thinks. But Lup is Lup. His sister is fucking weird, and he brushes it off in favor of drinking more wine.

It’s a good day, mulled wine and carols and gift-giving, but as all good days do, it winds down sooner than expected. The guests go off to their many rooms, Taako’s house big enough to host them all (by design), and before he knows it, he and Kravitz are headed to bed.

It’s the same old charade. Kravitz goes through the motions, and Taako does too, and it’s awful and stilted and he just wants it to end.

It’s not fair, he thinks, staring at the the bed while Kravitz is still futzing around in the bathroom, a charade of mortality. Kravitz is good. Taako likes him. He’s nice to talk to and doesn’t make Taako feel like he has to perform. He’s a big old nerd and actually really compassionate and sometimes an entity of absolute chaos and he’s perfect for Taako, he really is. So why can’t he just have this? Why does there have to be fucking... roadblocks in the way?

Taako expected things to be hard. He expected having to make things work. Sometimes Kravitz is gone for days going after bounties and Taako can deal with that. There are elements of mortal life Kravitz has to re-learn, and he doesn’t know how to interact in just.. normal society sometimes, and Taako can deal with that. Sometimes he’s a real asshole and gets prickly and offended and impatient after a bad day and Taako can deal with that.

He doesn’t know how to deal with not being able to touch him for months at a time.

He’s shivering just standing there. He needs cover.

But when he pulls back the comforter the sheets are a deep fuchsia. And while it’s a nice color, it looks nothing like his usual ones.

There’s a piece of paper like a letter, there, on his side of the bed under the comforter. It’s the same as the card he found in lup’s gift, and all that’s on it, in that same gold ink, is a winky face.

Taako sighs, long and deep. Because with Lup these things are always a gamble. Is it a gag gift? If Taako says the command word, will his bed explode? He has a horrible flashback to the memory of his first conversation with Kravitz, which was about tentacle porn, and Lup heard it from the umbrastaff, and now she’s given him enchanted bedsheets. Taako pales at the thought.

But here’s the thing: it’s late, and he’s tired, and he can always shut it off because he’s the best wizard in all planar systems, and he’s curious.

He stands, contemplating, cold as balls, for another minute.

And then he says, very deliberately,

“Flambé.”

And for a second it looks like nothing happened. And then it really looks like nothing happened. And then...

Taako can feel the warmth just from standing next to the bed.

It takes him about 0.04 seconds to hop in after that, to pull the sheets up around his shoulders and bury himself under the covers up to his chin.

It’s heavenly. Warmth from all sides, and Taako sighs, long and deep, as he feels tension in his muscles all over his body, held from weeks and months of being cold all the time. Already he can feel the chill in his veins slipping away. He can feel the warmth reaching the core of him, strong and comforting.

He can feel his face flushing, and the warmth rushing up into his long ears.

And then it gets warmer.

And warmer.

And warmer.

Uncomfortably warm.

Taako’s sweating, he realizes. He’s flushed, not in the comfortable way of sitting by the fire. He’s hot like a beach day, hot like a desert plane. He throws the covers off above the waist. It’s not enough. He’s too hot. Much, much too hot.

The door to the bathroom opens up and Kravitz steps out.

“Oh thank god,” Taako says, without thinking, “get the hell over here.” He holds up the blankets on Kravitz’s side of the bed, gestures for him to get in. Kravitz is staring at him like he’s grown an extra head. He slides into bed, slowly, tentative, and Taako practically throws himself on top of him.

The relief of his cold skin isn’t enough through the flannel pajamas Taako’s wearing. He goes for his shirt buttons.

“Taako,” Kravitz says, “what’s happening here?”

“Damn enchanted sheets from Lup are too fucking hot,” Taako grumbles, pulling his shirt off and squirming around with his pajamas pants until those are off too. He tosses them across the room.

Laying across Kravitz’s chest is such a relief. It’s like cold water on a hot day, and Taako spends a luxurious moment running his hands over his chest and shoulders, nuzzles into his neck and revels in the coolness on his face. He sighs, goes boneless against his boyfriend. He feels wonderful.

Kravitz’s arms come up around his back, tentatively holding him, and it hits him.

“Oh shit,” he says, half sitting up. Kravitz looks him in the eyes, questioning.

“That was Lup’s Candlenights gift. It was...” he licks his lips. Why is it so much harder to say things than it is to feel them? “It was this,” he says, running his hands over Kravitz’s chest again.

Understanding dawns in Kravitz’s eyes, and he smiles at Taako, and his smile is like the sun on a warm day.

“Glad I can be your ice pack,” he says, smiling.

“Shut up,” Taako says, resting his head back down, feeling more than hearing the happy little hum Kravitz makes. He snuggles a little closer. Kravitz’s arms tighten around him.

“I missed you,” Kravitz whispers.

And what can Taako do in response to that but kiss him?

“I missed you too, handsome,” he whispers into Kravitz’s lips.

[the-ipre]

Maybe an AU where Davenport wipes everyone’s minds instead of Lucretia?

- Davenport is the captain, and he shouldered responsibility for a hundred years. He started off as a boss and then become a part of the family, but at the end of the year he was still the one they trusted to drive the ship. He was still the one who could finalize votes, and there were times that he certainly took matters into his own hands. It wasn’t an obsession with control or anything like that; instead, he knew that he could fix things, and he had a responsibility to. He was their captain, he was the one who interviewed them for this mission, and it was his job to make things right after a war broke out on the world below them.

- Fisher didn’t trust him as much as it did Lucretia, and he didn’t have her way with words either, but he was used to working through problems. The entire past hundred years had been a series of problem after impossible problem, and when it’s crunch time, Davenport is willing and able to do what it takes. He composes an opera of their adventures, capturing the essence and the bonds but still trying to leave out what made those individuals who they were. It’s tough, because so much of who they became over that century were due to the people they were around, but he kept going. Always, he kept going.

- He wrote letters to them all, a last thing to erase to cut himself off from their memories. For Merle, a love letter, mentioning the moments of their first kiss, and the first time that Merle broke down Davenport’s walls and made him laugh, and the first time that Merle made up his own rules to their card game and Davenport let him because in that moment he had realized that he had fallen in love. To Barry, it was a sincere thank you note, detailing the ways that he could never have made it through if Barry wasn’t there to figure out the why while Davenport worked at the how, touching on one of their journeys to get the light that allowed them to both let their walls down and be honest about the strain they were under. For Taako, he wrote down the cure for scurvy, and the memory of the time that Taako had made him soup and left it outside his door when he was sick, and even though Taako denied making it he knew that the only person who walked around that late at night with those light of footsteps was Taako. To Magnus, he left the countless rescues to be consumed by the Voidfish, along with all of the pranks that Magnus had pulled and Davenport had turned back on him, breaking down that wall between boss and uncle-figure.

- Writing to Lucretia was difficult, because who would he write it to? The quiet girl who he had picked to go on a mission to the stars, who had written down the world even as it fell around her, who stayed up with her veins full of caffeine because she had to remember their plane, she had to write it down so that they wouldn’t be forgotten? Or would he write it to the woman who had lived longer than she ever should have, who had survived against all odds for a year by herself, who had made her relic a way to protect and defend, and who wanted to carry the world’s weight on her shoulders? In the end, it is both: he honors who she has become, but remembers where she came from. At the end of it all, he doesn’t know who she will be, but at this point he is just writing frantically. The others have heard him practicing his songs, and some of them grow suspicious. He has to fix this.

- To Lup, he writes of her bonds. The duet with Barry and their eternal love story, her refusal to back down and stand idly by while a world is killed, and of course, Taako. The other half of her heart, and it breaks his own to know that this will be lost, but it is something that must be done. He bundles up the letters, tied with string, and stacks them on top of the opera that he wrote. Dropping the papers into the Voidfish’s tank to disperse and be erased, he begins to sing.

- Back at the Legato Conservatory, Lucretia did not get splashed with water, and she was never inoculated, and so when those papers are absorbed into Fisher’s jellycap, she forgets. She is with Magnus, and he is carving while she is painting, and for the moment they have found peace. Lup is missing and the world below them tears itself apart, but together they carve, and they paint, and then there comes a moment where Lucretia doesn’t know what she is painting. She turns her head, and doesn’t know the man next to her, and when he looks up, there is no look of recognition in his eyes. Magnus is left in Raven’s Roost, where he will find and lose yet another family, and Lucretia is placed in Goldcliff, where she will write for a newspaper and once again tell other people’s stories.

- Taako goes to talk to Barry on the deck of the ship, looking for Lup, and then everything falls apart. They don’t know the man across from them, and they don’t know the woman that they were just talking about, and Barry is killed as he is thrown from the deck of the ship, and Taako is left standing in the middle of the sky as everything turns to static. This story is the same. Taako is given a stagecoach and a show, and he is given fame and fortune and is always so alone. Barry would have become a professor, Davenport had the teaching job all lined up, but he was unable to control everything, despite his best efforts. Barry continues searching for Lup, and he continues not finding her, and he relentlessly keeps searching.

- Back, many cycles before this day, the crew had been daring each other to take a drink from Fisher’s tank. Davenport had walked up, taken a sip, and left amongst assorted exclamations. On the day this story kicks off, Davenport once again stands in front of the Voidfish’s tank, except this time the only noise is his singing, until the door opens behind him. Merle had heard his partner’s voice and had come in to see how this secret project was going, but as the gnome in front of him turned around, he couldn’t recognize his face. There was a mustache, and eyes that were brimming with tears, and it was as familiar as his own face, but he didn’t know who it was. For once in his life Merle is speechless, and in that moment Davenport decides to be selfish. He had found a community of beach dwarves, one that would certainly welcome Merle among them, but he couldn’t do that anymore. He was cutting away so much from himself, and he had to let himself be selfish, in just this one thing. In the end, Merle became his right-hand command, and while he was more aware of himself than Davenport would have been if he had been erased, there was always something missing. He defined himself by the people around him and the joy that they brought, and when those people were gone he lost something.

- From the start Davenport builds an organization, because that is what he is good at. He can fight toe to toe with any magic user on the planet, but he has always been a delegator on some level, and despite his best efforts he still has something to lose. Merle was told that he had gotten a job that he had applied for, one meant to help save the world, and even if he couldn’t know what he was saving the world from he still agreed. His memory was spotty enough that he didn’t know if he had applied for a job or not, and something about this gnome made him want to trust the guy. At least he doesn’t have to file much paperwork, though, and most of his job seems to be chilling on an unanchored island and acting as HR for all the folks that get hired to do…something that he doesn’t quite know.

- Lucretia and Magnus are both in their thirties when they meet up with Taako to take a certain job, and none of them know each other but they can fight together as easy as breathing, and they can lean on each other even easier, and so they take the job with these strangers. Taako finds an umbrella, the Barry Bluejeans that they met along the way is burned to the ground along with the town of Phandolin, and the three of them are brought to a strange drifting island via flying boats summoned by a lizardfolk woman who introduces herself as Carey. Their story is the same, but shifted to the side just enough that it is their own.

- Merle greets them, and now he finally knows what the organization is searching for, and he doesn’t get why he wasn’t told until now, but he keeps trundling along. He bonds quickly to the three new recruits without knowing why, and when they meet Davenport (who stands on a dias so as not to be loomed over by all the taller folk) he welcomes them to the Institution for the Possession of Ruthless Echoes, or the IPRE for short. They are in search of relics that are little more than thumbprints on the public conscious, and they hope to make the world a better place by confiscating these weapons. Davenport hopes to reconstruct the light and keep running, because running is all that he knew for so long, but as the years pass he doesn’t quite want to run anymore.

- The reclaimers reclaim relics, and Merle works with Davenport, and the first time that Davenport finds himself laughing at something Merle said he feels a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He built up walls, and he did his best to make this different than before, but he can see the cycle happening again. His walls come down, and he laughs, and they kiss on the beach of this floating island, and Davenport’s surety that they will leave this world afterwards isn’t quite so sure anymore. He doesn’t know what he is going to do when the time comes that they all get their memories back, because at this point he knows that it will have to happen someday, but he keeps pushing that back.

- When the Hunger returns and their memories come flooding back, when a world is sung an opera of seven fools who tried their best to save plane after plane, when they hear the six letters to six almost-lost members of a family that was torn apart in an effort to do something good, there is another song lying underneath it all. A repeating seven notes, a note for each bird and two words for the lost child who allowed the Starblaster crew to come back together, and it pulls together the scattered sheets of paper like thread. This, too, is a story that we all know: the people of Faerun are afraid, and then they aren’t, and then they take up arms to protect their homes. The Hunger is cut off from the inside, and the seven birds don’t have to keep running. Finally, they can find a home.

- The others are betrayed, understandably, but most of them do not hold grudges. They may hurt at what was lost, they may hurt at the fact that their captain didn’t trust them to help him with this terrible undertaking, but they stop running. They are a family, and this is a home that they have fought for, and they can not hold grudges in this last life that they will have.

- Davenport is prepared for Merle to…well, he doesn’t know. Turn away? Break things off over what happened? Move on like nothing had happened? Merle, always one to surprise him, does none of those things. He doesn’t run, or separate, or ignore. He remembers both times that they fell in love, after all, and he can certainly admit that what Davenport did was kind of fucked up, but they lived through a hundred years of fucked up. They still have many years left, and he doesn’t want to waste them. All he asks is that Davenport will meet him halfway, that when he stands with a hand outstretched Davenport will take it, and that they can finally, finally make a home. Davenport agrees, of course, and they build a house on an island that never sees the same beach twice.

- An IPRE is built on this planet, the Institute for Planar Research and Exploration hoping to bring Faerun into a new era of technological advancement, and when Davenport gets a letter asking him to take a leadership position he tears it up. He’s good with his life as is, thank you very much, and he’s had enough time in charge. For now, he just wants to live on a beach, go boating when he pleases, and grow old with one Merle Highchurch.

[daily-davenport]

Today’s Davenport takes care of his crew!

[image description under readmore]

[image description! Two achromatic pages of Davenport, a mustached gnome, taking care of the six other crew members. First page is dedicated to Taako, Lup and Magnus. Panel one, is a close up of a bowl of broth Taako is holding as he critiques it. Taako: “Taste: Bland and underseasoned” (Dav: “You’re sick”) “Presentation: uninspired” (Dav: “It’s broth.”) “2/5 stars”. Panel two zooms out to show Dav looking at a mussy-looking Taako glaring at him. Dav asks, “Can you even taste it with your nose stuffed?” Taako holds the soup up yelling, “Terrible service: the waiter insulted me in my own room. 0/5 stars!” Panel 3 is a wide shot of Davenport poorly braiding back a bundled up Lup holding a mug. Lup says, “Thanks Dav ... I can teach you how to braid hair later.” Davenport stares at the mess he made as he responds, “I understand it in theory. but it’d be appreciated.” Panel 4 is looking down at Davenport with his arms crossed glaring upwards as he threatens, “Magnus I can and will carry you back and we both know it won’t go well. Don’t test me.” Panel 5, shows a sweaty and slumping, tired-looking Magnus glaring down as he also threatens, “If you ever so much as sneeze, I’m coddling the hell out of you.” Davenport holds up a hand and says, “Alright fair. Now go back to bed. I’ll get your water.”

The second page features Merle, Lucretia, and Barry. First panel is a wide shot of Davenport helping Merle walk. Merle is leaning pretty hard on him and is lacking his glasses. Davenport looks in duress as he says, “Merle. Merle you can just say you have an upset stomach. You don’t have to go into such vivid detail. I believe you.” Merle makes a soft, “pfffft” of laughter. Panel two, is Lucretia lying on a couch in a dark room with a small trashcan by her. She’s raised her head to look at a rumpled-looking Davenport sitting in the foreground reading a book out loud and nodding off:“And then... they... they-”. Panel three, Lucretia burrows her face into her pillow and says, “You don’t have to stay up with me. Go to bed Captain.��� Davenport rubs at his eye and says, “No no, I just need a - Will the smell of coffee upset your stomach?” Panel 4 is one last wide shot of Barry lying in bed with a wet cloth on his forehead as Davenport, now sans jacket, folds up his glasses. Barry smiles up and says, “Thanks Cap’n” Davenport replies, “Don’t mention it.” Barry adds, “Sorry for throwing up on you.” Davenport replies, “Especially don’t mention that part Barry.” End description.]

[dork-empress]

TAZ Angst drabble 2

Read on Ao3 

Character death warning

Despite Taako’s objections to the contrary, elves were mortal. They aged, so slowly it was barely perceptible by humans.

Taako had an uncle...or great uncle...maybe he was just an old cranky cousin? Anyway, some family member that took in him and Lup for the Elven equivalent of two seconds before sending them off again. He told Taako and Lup never to make friends with other races, because they aged too quickly, and Taako would inevitably end up alone. Taako just thought he was racist, which he was, but it took a good 800 years before Taako was willing to admit MAYBE he had a point.

He kept his glamour charm up nearly all the time, but every once in a while, he put it down to look in the mirror and see what time had done. Not to mention sometimes he just needed the spell slots. His golden blonde hair had turned stark white. His skin, once perfectly bronzed was now wrinkled.

And there were some things no magic in the world could totally fix. His eyesight, for one, losing a good deal of his darkvision and normal vision. His hearing at least allowed him a good excuse to yell at the whippersnappers going about. If there was one thing he enjoyed about being old it was complaining about young people, not that he needed youth as an excuse to do that.

But the worst thing was the memory. It started small, taking a minute or longer to remember an old friend’s name. Making up what happened when he couldn’t remember a story of his own life. A spell or two he didn’t know. His aunt’s recipes.

It was getting worse, though. One fateful day, he couldn’t remember Magnus’ name, and he rushed to the graveyard to see it and apologize to his old friend. It was decorated well, as a hero of legend’s grave should be. Kids went on field trips to come see it.

They were all gone now. Magnus, Lucretia, Davenport, Merle, Ren, Carey, Killian, Avi, Leon, Lucas...even Agnus had grown up before Taako’s very eyes and then died of old age. Many of his friends had had children, who then grew up and died, and then their children….humans were stupid. They were like damn Goldfish with the way they kept dying, what the fuck?

The people closest to him weren’t like that. Kravitz, Lup, and Barry stayed on. They all lived in the same house for a long time. It wasn’t fair, they got to live forever, but they stayed the SAME. Stupid reapers.

After going out to see Magnus, Taako realized one more thing he forgot: the way home. He stumbled around town a bit, trying to retrace his steps, but only found himself more lost, until finally a robed figure appeared out of the mist in front of him. “What did I tell you about sneaking up on me, Bluejeans?”

“Sorry,” Barry said, putting up his hands in surrender. “We got back and you weren’t home. Lup and Krav are worried, so we split up to find you.”

Taako ‘hmph’d’ impressively. One good thing about being old was being able to ‘hmph’ properly. “And what, you were just the lucky bastard to check this…” He looked around. He didn’t know where he was.

“Actually,” Barry covered for his old friend’s lack of memory, “I asked around and the kids said there was a crazy old elf wizard shouting ‘abracafuck you’ and blasting a statue.”’

Taako chuckled, “heh. Classic.”

Barry created a rift in the air and offered for Taako to step in. “I better call Lup and Krav. Get ready for a lecture about wandering around.”

“I’m not a caged animal,” he said, “This guy’s so fine, it’d be a shame to hide from the world.”

Barry smirked, but knew better than to argue. “Where’d you go, anyway?”

Taako collapsed on the sofa and regretted it instantly. He now felt all the misery holding himself upright and walking around had caused him. “Graveyard,” He said, like it was nothing.

Barry put the stone of farspeech down. “Oh,” he said.

He went over to sit on the sofa, but Taako shooed him away. “I miss them too, you know,” Barry said, “Every day.”

“Why?” Taako asked, “You get to go to the land of the dead all the time.”

Barry sighed, “Being in the astral plane and being part of the sea of souls is...different,” he said. “Only the Raven Queen knows anything about what it’s like, and she says she can’t tell us or it’ll melt our brains or something.”

Taako snorted, “Cop out.”

“Probably,” Barry agreed, “But...still. It doesn’t get any easier.”

“Barry...look at me,” Taako said, and he dropped his Glamour. He was well kept for an elf. Had lived longer than most, well taken care of and having a husband who was death didn’t hurt. But still he knew he was a pile of bones wrapped together with some skin wrinklier than an unironed sheet. “This...this doesn’t get any easier.”

Barry tried not to look pitying. He really did. “Hey, I’d hardly think you were more than 700.”

Taako snorted, shaking. He was always shaking. “I’m gonna die, Barry,” He said, “Soon. One of you three are gonna have to drop me in the death soup--”

“Please don’t call it that.”

“--And we both know it’s not going to be the other two.” Taako said, staring Barry down until he understood. Barry sobered instantly, realizing what Taako was saying. “Kravitz and I have had a long time,” Taako said, “Longer than most. But all mortals have to die eventually. And Lup….” Taako twiddled with his thumbs, trying to get them to just stay STILL for Istus’ sake. “We promised we’d never leave each other again. But we can’t...I can’t…”

He took a deep sigh, Barry staying still, “Elves live a long time, but eternity is eternity. You lot are gonna live twice as long as me, and I don’t want them to suffer without my brilliant presence,” he swallowed, “So that’s gonna be on you, Barry, to help them through it. So you’d best start adjusting now.”

Barry didn’t say anything for a long silence. He finally broke it with the quietest, “I, um,” he said, “I’m gonna call them. Let them know you’re ok.”

The next morning, Taako woke to Kravitz gently shaking him awake. He didn’t meditate as much anymore, too much focus. “Wake up, love,” Kravitz said in his low, melodic voice. “Come on, sweetheart, we’re going on a trip.”

Taako grumbled at the intrusion, “Five more minutes,” he insisted, but was surprised to hear laughter at that. It was Lup’s laugh. He peeked his eye open to see she was in the room with him, along with Barry. “What’d’you want?”

“Kravitz already said,” she said, “We’re going on a trip.”

“Where?” He asked, still stubbornly clinging to sleep.

“It’s a surprise!” She said.

Taako grumped. He probably wasn’t going to remember the place if she said it anyway. “Fine. It better not be that museum that keeps pestering me. They can’t have my hat, I don’t care if it’s part of their exhibit.”

“It’s not the museum,” Kravitz assured, offering his hand. Taako took it and allowed himself to be pulled up off the bed and onto the floor. He felt less achy today, that was good. “Come on, now, best we hurry.”

“I’ll take my damn time, and you’ll deal with it,” Taako grumped as Kravitzed held him around the middle to help him walk forward, kissing his cheek. Even at...however old he was, he still blushed. “Sap.”

He was so distracted, he didn’t even realize he’d left his body behind.

Taako didn’t remember much, other than shuffling his feet, left, right, left again, going wherever Kravitz led him. “I’m gonna be hungry in a few minutes,” he let them all know, so this place better have food.”

“It’ll have everything you need,” Barry commented, him and Lup keeping pace behind them.

Taako grumbled, “That sounds suspicious as heck, Barold.”

“We’re here,” Kravitz said, and Taako looked up. They were at the beach. But it didn’t seem like a normal beach. There was an old cottage, long abandoned, sitting on an island (when did they get to an island?). There was the sound of waves, but no people or animals, not even a bird. He looked up at the dark sky and finally realized where he was. The Astral Plane. “Oh…” he said, and then looked between the Reapers, “It’s today?”

“It is.” The voice behind the four of them said, and Taako’s eyes fell on the Raven Queen. She didn’t seem to take steps as she approached, just floating along the ground, a veil covering her face. “I hope I’m not late, I wanted to be here for the departure.”

“Nice to see your son in law off,” He said, but then the four of them were still silent. It was hard to tell, under that damn veil, but the Raven Queen wasn’t looking at him, he was looking at Kravitz. “Krav--”

Kravitz let go of Taako, and he was surprised to find he could stand on his own. Kravitz approached the Raven Queen with reverence, and bowed before her. She lifted him by the chin, looking down at him, and speaking quiet words Taako couldn’t hear. Then, Kravitz summoned his scythe and handed it over. “What are you doing?” Taako demanded, “Stop--

He tried to run forward but Lup held him back. He turned around to see she had summoned her scythe too, as had Barry. Barry stepped forward next to hand his in. “We talked it over,” Lup said, “Weighing everything, but...it was already decided a long time ago.”

“Love,” Kravitz said, coming back to him and taking his hand, “I’ve lived longer than you have.”

“Cradle robber,” Taako accused lovingly, getting Kravitz to smile.

“I’ve seen all the things I wanted to see and done all the things I wanted to do.” Kravitz tucked Taako’s hair behind his long ears, “All I really want anymore is to be with you. In all things.”

“But it’s supposed to just be me,” Taako said, and realized he was crying. How he was able to he had no idea, but he was anyway, “You’re supposed to go on, you’re immortal, you--”

“We,” Lup said, “Are a package deal, goofus.” She handed her scythe over with a respectful nod, “Besides, Queenie says this happens every millenia or so. We helped her pick out some replacements that weren’t total douche waffles. World goes on and all that.”

The Raven Queen didn’t seem to know how to respond to being called ‘Queenie’ and so addressed Taako. “Rarely does a mortal affect the lives of a reaper. Even more rarely three. But I must respect their wishes, even if I wish I could convince them to stay longer.”

Kravitz shook his head, “Not a second without him in the world,” he said, taking Taako’s hand. Taako couldn’t help the little smile on his face.

Then, Lup took his other hand, and Barry took her other hand. “Ready, Koko?”

Taako turned, facing the sea of souls. “Hey, last thing,” he said, looking up at the Raven Queen, “the whole ‘your brains would melt’ if you knew about death is a cop out, right?”

The Raven Queen just smiled, and Taako sighed, frustrated. “Guess I just have to find out myself,” and he stepped into the shallows, his family with him.

[suddenrundown]

                     All the Time in the World: Chapter 5 

Read previous chapter

Its what’s on the inside that counts.

A cheesy saying, but one that Barry strived to live by nonetheless. He wasn’t one to make snap decisions about people upon meeting them based of first impressions or appearances. At least, he tried not to. There was some amount of decency in most souls, he believed, and even if it wasn’t obvious immediately, he’d give them a few chances. Obviously, some people really were just miserable beings; he’d run across some, both in his former life and in the past eleven years. But most proved his theory, given the chance, and he’d met and become friends with so many different and interesting people in his lifetime. It made life more fulfilling.

Which was why this particular world made very little sense to him.

Continued under the cut, or you can read it on ao3

“Have you tried wearing something other than jeans?”

“No. I mean, I don’t really have any—wait, what’s wrong with my jeans? You don’t like my jeans?”

“Did I say that? No, your jeans are rad. I’ve never met anyone who could pull off dad jeans as well as you can.”

“Dad jeans? Lup, they’re not-”

Lup looked up from the map she was studying, smirking. “I mean, if you weren’t wearing jeans, how would I even know its you? Oh my god, wait!” she gasped. “Are they like, a talisman or something, that holds in some super power? If you take them off, do you become like Super Monster Barry?”

“Yeah, actually,” Barry confirmed, voice hushed now. “I was trying to keep it a secret all this time, but you caught me. At night in my room, I take them off and I get super buff. Bigger than Magnus. Bigger than that ripped guy who kept throwing boulders at the Starblaster all last cycle. It’s terrifying.”

Lup snorted at that. “Holy shit.”

“Right?” Barry chuckled. Then he sobered, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh, is there actually something wrong with-”

“Of course not!” she interrupted, looking serious now. “No one who matters thinks there is. It’s just that this place is…judgmental.”

She wasn’t wrong. They’d been in this world for two months now, but it was blatantly obvious that they were being judged the moment the IPRE landed here.

The crew had seen fully functioning cities and humanoid beings as they flew the Starblaster down into the plane, and Davenport had deemed it safe to venture out soon after the ship landed in a wooded area just outside of town. They didn’t make it very far before they were visited by a group of well-dressed individuals demanding to know who they were and what their business here was. Davenport had tried to explain, but he was immediately cut off by a man in the middle, who seemed to be the leader of the group.

“Not you,” he’d basically sneered, pointing at Davenport but not sparing him a glance. His finger slid across the line until it made its way to Taako, and the man’s face had become instantly friendlier. “Him. Or her.” And at this, he pointed to Lup next to him.

The crew had gone silent, and they all stared in the direction of the twins. Barry could see Lup attempting to form words through her surprise, but Taako had gotten there first.

“We’re the IPRE, my dude, and we’re gonna be here for a while.”

Surprisingly, this made the man laugh. “That will be just fine. I would like you to come with me just for a bit, my friend, uh…” The man waved his hand as if beckoning for a name.

Taako cocked his head a bit. “Taako?” It sounded like a question.

“Taako, yes. Just for a bit. I’d like to know more but I’d rather not stand here and chat.” The man looked around as if the scenery of the woods offended him. When Taako didn’t immediately move, the man turned to smile at Lup. “You can come too, Miss.”

“Lup.” Lup offered, hesitantly.

“How lovely,” the man sighed. He then turned around and his group began to walk away “Anyway, come along,” he called over his shoulder.

The twins had glanced down the line back to Davenport, who gestured for them to go ahead.

“Careful,” he warned them. “We’ll be here.”

When the twins were out of sight, the rest of the crew continued to stand in silence, rooted to their spots, until Merle let out a low chuckle.

“What a dick.”

They all laughed at that and agreed, and with the tension broken, they made their way back into the Starblaster to wait for Taako and Lup to return. Barry’s stomach churned with anxiety, but he tried to comfort himself with the fact that if the man had wanted to hurt them, he probably would have done it here instead of taking them elsewhere. Besides, he seemed impressed by them for some reason. Thankfully, his worries were for nothing, as the twins came back in one piece a few hours later with a story to tell that made the everything make sense. In context, at least.

The man they’d met, Delman, was in charge of the city they’d flown over, and he was more than willing to share with Taako and Lup the way things worked, provided they tell him exactly why they were here. The twins were completely honest and took the opportunity to summarize the IPRE’s mission, about the Light, and about the timeframe they had to save this world from the Hunger. When they finished, they sat in awkward silence as Delman seemed to consider their explanation. Then he laughed.

“If that’s the story you’re sticking to, my friends, that’s quite alright with me.” As the twins tried to convince him, he shook his head. “Really, you look nice enough. I’m not sure about this Hunger nonsense, but I won’t stop you and your…associates from conducting whatever business you deem necessary, provided that you all understand how we operate.”

And with that, he told them briefly about the world. It sounded similar to home, except for one key difference: society was basically split up based on beauty.

“He didn’t really say so out right, but I sort of got the impression that if you didn’t have looks, you didn’t have much,” Lup explained, shuffling awkwardly. “People without them have harder jobs and worse living conditions by extension. Apparently, even the ‘pretty’ people spend large amounts of time and money trying to make themselves prettier, whatever that means. Didn’t really ask.” She paused then, clearly uncomfortable. “I mean, isn’t it like, a subjective thing? I don’t really get why-”

“Lup, I’m not offended by what happened earlier,” Davenport interrupted kindly. He gave her a smile. “Not everyone can appreciate such a dignified mustache,” he added, twirling the end of his. “Clearly this Delman fellow didn’t.”

“Sounds like an…interesting culture,” Lucretia said. “I don’t know what the standards of beauty are, but from the welcoming we got today, I’m guessing we might have a hard time.”

“Then again,” Taako spoke up from beside his sister, noticeably posing just a little. “You do have the two of us, and we evidently did pass the beauty portion of this little pageant show, so maybe privileges extend to you by association.”

Oh, well thank God. Barry stopped short of rolling his eyes. It’s not like Taako was wrong. Or not objectively one of the prettiest people he’d ever met.

And luckily, as Taako had predicted, the crew had had a relatively easy time of it so far. As Delman promised, they were left to their own devices as far as looking for the Light went, and they were granted access to the better parts of the city, including job positions, which was necessary for basic necessities and part of the expectations of living here. It wasn’t much of a burden, and in the case of some of them, entertaining. Taako had found a high fashion clothing shop and spent most of his time there, though he didn’t necessarily need to. Lucretia worked in a library, but Barry suspected that she spent most of her time there reading about the world for her own records. The rest of them found part time work in various shops, which allowed them time for their own personal activities. Like finding the Light.

Barry had taken up the endeavor himself this cycle, and as usual, Lup had volunteered herself as well. Luckily, they’d seen it falling this time around, so they had a direction to head in at least. And now that they’d gotten a detailed enough map of the area to search for it, they wanted to start as soon as possible. They hadn’t found it last cycle, and the IPRE had watched as the Hunger consumed the entire plane, growing bigger as it did. Given the resources they had, Barry had a feeling it wouldn’t be too difficult to find this time, so he wasn’t that concerned. His biggest concern was just making it through the year.

And maybe it was a silly thing to worry about. As far as he could tell, this place wasn’t all that dangerous. There were functioning societies, safe living conditions, and nothing that wanted to hunt them down. It’s just that the people here were….

“Judgemental’s a good word for it,” Barry agreed, watching as Lup circled an area on the map.

“My point is that people here are weird. And if you get snubbed, its nothing to do with you, its just them.” She looked up from her map again. “Personally, I think you’re pretty great, jeans and all. Wouldn’t change a single thing.” She winked.

He felt his cheeks turn red, and bent down to pretend to study the map in an attempt to hide it. “Gee, thanks,” he mumbled.

He didn’t do a good job of it. “Nerd,” she grinned.

The urge to say something cheesy and embarrassing was strong, but fortunately he was saved by a shouted greeting from Taako from behind him. Barry turned to find both the elf and a smartly dressed man he didn’t recognize approaching them.

“Playing hooky, Taako?” Lup asked her brother.

“Hell no, who’d play hooky from heaven itself? Nah, me and Flynn are just on break. He’s showing me the best place to eat lunch. The soup’s to die for, apparently.”

“Bring me back some, then.”

“Only if I don’t eat it all.”

Lup made a face, then turned to Flynn and smiled. “I’m Lup.”

Barry held up a hand. “Barry.”

Flynn’s eyes briefly slid to him before focusing on Lup. He smiled at her. “Nice to meet you.”

Barry couldn’t tell if he was mishearing the emphasis or not, but chose to believe it was in his head.

“Well, we’re off to have this life changing soup,” Taako announced with much emphasis that Barry did not make up as he turned to leave. “See ya, suckers.”

Barry watched Flynn as he turned and trailed after Taako, then turned back to the map on the table. “So we mostly have a plan of attack here. I think we should pack a backpack to get us through maybe a day or two, and we can set out tomorrow. And maybe Davenport will let us take the Starblaster at some point if we need to go super far, but we’ll play it by ear.” He turned to Lup. “Shit, all that talk about soup is making me hungry.”

Lup didn’t respond, and in fact gave no indication she heard him at all. She stared off in the direction that Taako and Flynn had gone.

“You there, Lup?” he asked, confused.

At the sound of her name, she turned towards him quickly. “What? Oh yeah.” She gave him a light punch in the arm. “Soup, I hear you!”

                                                          ~

Day after day spent trekking further south from the main city, and Barry and Lup had nothing to show for it but tired feet and questions that they could answer if they only had time to stop and experiment with the world around them. No trace of the Light, but now they knew where it definitely wasn’t, so neither of them could really write off the month as a waste. Not that Barry could ever consider time spent with Lup a waste anyway.

With no sign of their prize anywhere, they decided to head back to civilization to regroup and gather more supplies before heading back out again. As they entered the city, they spotted Davenport walking through the square.

“Hey Cap’n Port!” Lup called.

Davenport turned at the nickname, and immediately looked relieved to see them. “You’re alive, I see. No luck, huh?”

“Not yet, but we think that based off the Light’s trajectory when it fell, we just have to adjust our course a little,” Barry reported. “According to the map we have, its in the direction of the other city.”

“Sounds like a good place to start. Be sure to rest up a day or two before you go. I’ll see you two in a bit, I’m off to find Lucretia,” Davenport said, giving them a small wave.

Lup saluted him. “Bye, Cap’n Port.” She then turned to Barry. “Let’s stop by and see Taako. Gonna beg him to make some food for us to take.”

“Sounds good.”

As they made their way to the shop, Barry quietly watched the passerby going about their business, feeling the judgment emanating from them. He’d forgotten about it over the past month away from them, but he’d try not to let it get to him while he was here.

“Afternoon, Lup,” came an unfamiliar voice.

They both turned to find an only vaguely familiar face as a tall, well dressed man came walking towards them. Barry remembered meeting him, but couldn’t for the life of him remember-

“Flynn!” Lup exclaimed with an incredible amount of enthusiasm. She then winced slightly, seemingly embarrassed about it.

At least she could remember the guy.

“Haven’t seen you around in a while,” Flynn said.

“We’ve been looking for the Light,” Barry told him.

Flynn glanced at Barry briefly, then looked away. “Ah, Taako mentioned something like that.”

“Do you know if he’s at work?” Lup asked, noticeably quieter now.

“Yes, he is, and I was on my way back there now. I’ll walk with you.”

As the three continued on their way, Barry fell silent as Lup and Flynn talked, feeling awkward. He didn’t see a point in speaking up, as anything he said might be ignored by the latter. Might as well spare himself the effort. When they reached the shop door, Lup turned to Barry.

“Coming in?”

“Nah, I don’t go into clothing shops I can’t buy dad jeans in,” Barry joked.

Lup laughed, and then reached up to pat his head. “That’s cute, good one,” she giggled.

Barry blushed slightly, and Lup laughed again as she headed inside. He smoothed his hair back down as he watched her go. The sound of a scoff behind him reminded him that Flynn was still standing there, and the smile he didn’t know he was wearing faded away.

The man was slightly taller than him, and he stared down to look directly at him now. Scrutinizing, Barry could tell. Like everyone else in this city, he was good looking in an other-worldly sort of way, but it didn’t seem like he’d had enhancements to make himself look like that. He looked like he might be friendly person, if he wanted to be.

He looked Barry up and down once, then smirked in a decidedly unfriendly way. “Yeah right,” he snorted.

Barry watched, confused and uncomfortable, as he opened the door and followed Lup inside.

                                                             ~

Against the urging of Flynn, who said it was “absolutely awful” there, Barry and Lup travelled in the direction of the other city, where those who had been deemed not worthy of living in the main city lived. Both of them were apprehensive, but upon their arrival, they found that, despite looking a little more run down there, everyone was perfectly nice and welcoming. Barry tried not to take it to heart that their worst crime was looking as plain as himself and put his efforts toward searching for the Light.

After a few weeks of searching and asking around, they got a lead that someone on the outskirts of town had possession of an object that sounded like what they were looking for. They followed the directions of the townsfolk to a crumbling little house and found an older woman there, who gladly showed them that she did, indeed, have the Light. She was unwilling to hand it over for free, however, claiming she’d “found the funny thing fair and square, kids,”, but she was willing to hand it over if they worked for it.

With no other option, Barry and Lup spent a few more weeks helping the woman, Myra, fix and clean up her house. Neither complained and they found it fun at times, although Lup occasionally seemed to stress over it.

“We really need that Light, Barry. We need to get it back.”

Barry thought that was obvious and unsure why it needed restating, but he continually assured her they’d have it soon and be back with the rest of the IPRE. They had plenty of time left in the year, after all, and the Light was practically theirs already.

True to her word, Myra, with a safer and more livable house, handed over the Light, and sent the two on their way. Barry and Lup returned to the Starblaster late one evening, and Magnus rushed them both, blubbering and thanking them profusely for “not being dead”.

After untangling himself from Magnus’s bear hug, Barry, exhausted, brought the Light to Davenport for safe keeping, and then made his way back outside the ship to look for Lup. He found Taako hanging out by the entrance instead.

“Barold,” Taako said, drawing out the end of the name.

“Taako,” Barry replied, nodding. “Nice…hat?”

“What, this thing?” Taako adjusted the hat slightly. “Got it at the shop. Someone requested this thing specially made, and then had the gall to say they didn’t like it. But their loss is Taako’s gain. It’s beautiful.”

Barry stared up at it. The bottom of it expanded a few inches passed Taako’s head, and the top of the hat probably reached a foot taller than the elf did, the tip of it bending sharply down.

“It’s very…” Tall? Pointy? Purple? “You,” he finally decided.

“Thank you!” Taako smiled, pleased, then pointed at him. “You looking for Lup?”

“Yeah, actually.”

“I saw her go off with Flynn somewhere.”

“What? He was here?” Barry asked, surprised.

“Sure was,” Taako replied, already sounding mentally checked out of the conversation.

“Is he-I mean, will she um…come back?”

“Well yeah.” Taako turned and stared at him blankly. “Eventually.”

Barry decided not to wait up and head to bed instead, feeling vaguely uneasy for no particular reason.

The next morning at breakfast, Barry saw Lup walk in. Taako waggled his eyebrows at her, and Lup gave him a shove. She made a face at him, then grabbed a plate and sat down across from Barry.

“We gonna science the shit out of the Light today?” she asked.

Barry attempted to shake off the uneasy feeling in his chest. He smiled, but wasn’t sure if it looked right. “Definitely,” he managed anyway.

                                                            ~

The IPRE couldn’t bank on much, but one thing they could say for certain was how much time they had. All of them knew at any given moment how many more months were left, how many days they had to get through, and if they were feeling really precise, how many minutes had to pass before the Hunger came to chase them off to a new world. The other guarantee was the seven of them. After eleven years together, they knew that they were the only permanent relationships they could have, and they knew how to work together and rely on each other.

This of course did not mean they didn’t form connections with the creatures they met, and it made it all the more important to find the Light to save them. They found it impossible to go through life never forming relationships with new people, so they allowed themselves to do so, knowing that there was an impermanence to those relationships. No matter what the type.

Davenport had once or twice gone for tea with a very pretty gnome a few cycles ago, and had come back much bubblier than his usual serious self. Merle had been awfully popular back in the second cycle with the dwarves, Barry remembered, but no one knew any details and definitely didn’t want to ask. Barry knew that Lup had not been the first of them to find a little more than a friendship with someone from one of the different worlds. It just had never been Lup.

And nothing really changed. She was still around, and they still talked and laughed and worked together. It wasn’t like Flynn hung around them, but Barry suspected that he had no desire to be anywhere that Barry was. On occasion though, Lup would be absent, and Barry would work by himself while he tried to shake off the uncomfortable melancholy that seemed to tighten his chest. Still, he had a job to do, and he wasn’t going to sit around and mope just because Lup had a life.

“Barold, buddy, why the long face?”

At least, he tried not to.

“I’m fine, Magnus.”

Magnus sat down across from him, resting his chin in his hands as he studied him. “You sure, man?”

“Yeah, just taking a break. What are you doing here? Don’t you have work?” he asked, trying to change the subject.

“Yeah, but I’m skipping out. Got someone to cover for me.” Magnus leaned back in his seat. “I’m sort of tired of it,” he added.

“What, work?” Barry asked with a chuckle.

“Nah, this place.”

Well that made two of them. “Why’s that?”

“Everything’s like, so clean here. There’s not a spec of dirt on anyone. It’s so weird.”

That would be something that bothered Magnus, who liked working with his hands. Who didn’t need everything to be so damn pretty and perfect. “That’s fair.”

“Also if some guy looks down his nose at me one more time today I might slug him. Or challenge him to arm wrestle me.”

Barry laughed loudly. “Do you think that would work?”

Magnus put one elbow out in front of him and opened his hand toward Barry. “Do you want to arm wrestle me?”

“No thank you,” Barry said, chuckling nervously. “The only possible outcome would be pretty embarrassing.”

Magnus folded his arms and leaned back in his chair again, looking slightly smug. “Yeah, I think it probably would.”

                                                            ~

“It all looks good to me. I checked out the Starblaster pretty thoroughly a couple times now, and we should have no problems taking off in a couple weeks when the Hunger comes.”

“You rock, Cap’n Port!” Lup cheered.

“Oh, well I’m…thank you.” Davenport averted his gaze, looking slightly embarrassed by Lup’s enthusiasm. He cleared his throat. “Anyway, continue to go about your lives for the next few weeks, and try not to do anything...life threatening.”

“Hey, I’ve stayed alive so far!” Merle argued, gesturing to himself for emphasis.

“I wasn’t calling out anyone in particular,” Davenport replied innocently.

“To be fair, Merle,” Lucretia chimed in, “you do have a bad track record.”

“And there’s still a few weeks left, so who knows what could happen,” Magnus chuckled. “Hey, do you need a bodyguard?”

“No, I don’t need a bodyguard,” Merle retorted with a pout.

“Just everyone be careful, please,” Davenport sighed, dismissing them.

Poor Merle; five deaths in eleven cycles was quite a feat. He really should be more careful.

“I think he should take Magnus up on that offer,” Lup interrupted his thoughts, sidling up to him with Taako in tow. “Sounds bad ass.”

“Yeah, it might do him some good,” Barry agreed with a chuckle. Then he sobered. “There has to be some sort of consequence to this whole dying and coming back to life business.”

Taako rested an arm on Lup’s shoulder, leaning into her. “Other than the dying part?”

“Well, I mean…maybe,” Barry said.

“I guess it’s the suffering those of us that are left behind must endure in your absence,” Taako replied dramatically. “Speaking of leaving behind, is there anyone you’ll miss in particular here, Lup?” he asked his sister teasingly.

Barry suddenly wished he was anywhere else but here being a part of this conversation, the familiar unpleasant feeling flaring up in his chest.

Lup shoved him lightly off her shoulder. “No, not really.”

“Not even a certain gentleman, Mr. What’s-His-Handsome-Face?”

She studied her fingernails nonchalantly. “You mean Flynn? Nope. Stopped hanging out with him. He did something I didn’t like.”

Taako’s face quickly morphed from playful to dangerous. “Should I go kill him?”

“Chill out, don’t go wasting a spell. He didn’t do anything, he just said something about somebody I care about.” She made a fist with the hand she was studying. “But I showed him what for.”

“You punched him?” Barry blurted, slightly too loud, suddenly interested.

“A little,” she confessed. “But that’s the thing.” She turned to Barry suddenly, the intensity of her expression demanding his attention. “No one gets to say something bad about the people I care about.”

Taako whistled. “God, what a bad ass, you’re so scary.”

He was clearly joking, but Barry agreed with the sentiment wholeheartedly anyway. He’d thought it since day one, although those feelings had morphed into more of an admiration than anything else. It also helped that he knew one simple truth about his friend.

She’s on my side he thought as Lup smiled at him.

                                                          ~

Barry stood outside the Starblaster, watching the sky with the rest of the crew. They’d take off as soon as they spotted the Hunger. It was always anxiety inducing waiting for the dark tendrils to appear, but it made it slightly awkward that they had some doubting onlookers this time around.

“And you just happen to know that this hungry thing is going to come any moment now, is that right?” Delman asked, flanked by a few higher ups of the city.

Davenport sighed. “The Hunger, yes. As we’ve said countless times before, it’ll come. Thankfully, we have the Light and are taking it with us, so it’ll chase us down, but it might cause some problems for you here, so I do urge you to get somewhere safe. You do have time.”

“Doesn’t seem all that necessary.”

“Why are you out here, then?”

“You all look rather ridiculous,” Delman laughed. His friends followed suit.

Barry was alright with the year being up.

“Where are Lup and Taako?” asked Magnus beside him.

That was another cause to his anxiety. “Lup said she was going with Taako to his shop so that ‘he could say goodbye,’” Barry told him. At least it was only a few minutes away from the ship.

“That guy’s not right,” Magnus said.

Hard to argue with that. Barry fell silent and fell back into watching both the sky and the distance for his friends to return.

Thankfully, the latter came first, as he saw both Lup and Taako sprinting towards the ship. Lup slowed as she approached, but Taako ran right by him and through the Starblaster’s door.

He poked his head out. “I’ll be here if anyone needs me!”

Magnus shook his head. “Not right,” he repeated as he turned and headed into the ship himself. Lucretia and Merle followed suit.

Barry turned back around to find Lup standing in front of him now, hands held behind her back.

“Did Taako pay his respects?” he asked.

“Hugged every last one of those gorgeous shirts,” she replied. “He’s keeping that hat though.”

“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.”

“Me neither. Speaking of keeping, I actually got you something,” she added.

She pulled her hands from behind her back, producing a dark blue piece of folded clothing. “So I saw this suit and thought of you. I mean you wear jeans exclusively and that’s awesome, but maybe one of these days you’ll have something you desperately need a suit for, and I figured you should have one. If you need it. Or it can hang in your closet. Doesn’t matter, I just want you to—”

“Lup,” Barry interrupted quietly, stopping her rambling.

“Yeah?” she asked hesitantly.

“Thank you. It’s great. I’ll definitely find a reason to wear it someday,” he promised, feeling a little choked up for no reason.

She was quiet for a moment, then punched him in the arm, a little harder than normal. “You better. I bought it for you. Well, bought’s a strong word.”

Barry winced as he rubbed his arm. “What do you mean?”

A distant shout caught both of their attention, and they turned to see Flynn running towards them.

“I actually kind of stole it and he may have seen me do it.”

Barry laughed despite himself. “Oh my god. You should probably…”

“Yep, see ya!” She turned and ran back into the ship, carrying the suit.

Barry watched her go, then turned towards the approaching Flynn, who slowed his stride panting heavily. Davenport looked toward Barry with concern, but Barry waved him off, and the captain continued to watch the sky.

“Morning Flynn,” Barry said when the man was in hearing distance.

“Did Lup just go into that hunk of junk with a suit?” the man asked irritably, ignoring the greeting.

“I don’t know, she’s really fast,” he told him, unable to stop the smile that spread onto his face.

Flynn held a hand to his forehead, exasperated. “Whatever, I can’t be bothered with one suit. It wasn’t expensive or nice anyway, not a huge loss.”

“Sure,” Barry replied innocently. “Seemed nice though. You know, from what I saw,” he added when the man gave him a look.

Flynn continued to stare for a moment, saying nothing. Then he shook his head. “I really don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“You. Her. Have you seen her?”

“Almost every day for eleven years. What’s your point?” Barry asked, a little irritated now.

“My point is that you and her do not make sense.”

Barry sighed, trying to be civil. “Well, it’s been just the seven of us all this time. I sort of doubt we’d be friends in any other life, but I can’t imagine anything else at this point.”

“Friends,” Flynn echoed, smiling disbelievingly.

“Yes, friends!” Barry shot back too loudly, over it. “I don’t understand your confusion.”

“No, I suppose you wouldn’t,” he laughed. “But I think I now understand yours.”

“What does—”

“Time to go, Barry!” Davenport suddenly shouted.

Barry looked down. He hadn’t noticed how the world looked desaturated until now.

“Shit, what the hell is that?” Flynn asked, panicked, looking up at the sky.

“That’s what me and my friends saved your ass from. You’re welcome,” Barry replied. He found he sincerely meant it. “You have a few minutes, so get yourself somewhere safe. Hopefully there won’t be too much damage down here,” he added, backing up.

Flynn turned and ran, as did Delman and the others, and Barry and Davenport did the same, back into the Starblaster. Davenport headed for the wheel.

“I’d say buckle up, but it doesn’t matter that much!” Davenport called back to them. “Just hold on to something!”

Barry grabbed the bar next to the window and closed his eyes, breathing deeply and trusting that their captain would fly them safely out like always.

“Do I need to go back down there and kick his ass?”

Barry opened his eyes to see Lup in front of him. He smiled at her, the mounting fear he felt dissipating a little. She looked actually willing to do it.

“No, I don’t think he deserves that and the Hunger.”

“He’ll be fine,” she said.

“I think so.”

They both fell silent, concentrating on not being thrown around by Davenport’s maneuvers. The anxiety and fear gripped his heart once more, so he turned to Lup again.

“Lup.”

“Yeah?”

He breathed in deeply, steadying himself. “Thanks for the suit.”

[thereisnoyellinginfantasycostco]

“All That Lives Must Die” Part 10

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9]

As the door swung shut behind them, Taako’s reaction was instant. A flick of his wand casted both Silence and locked the door, Lup was cut off from the other Birds, but she could roll with that. It was her brother, how much could she have to fear? “What’s up, Lup?”

“I called you in here to talk, and you locked the door. Why?” Lup tried to act like she had the upper hand, tried to intimidate. But she was never good at that with her twin (she never knew she needed to be good at intimidating Taako. Now her blood was screaming for a different reason).

“Don’t play dumb, Lulu. We both know that you know what’s wrong.” A slight sneer (it looked conflicted, Taako was conflicted and Lup could use that. Why did she have to think about using her brother’s emotions against him) flicked across his face, “Magnus and Merle are trying to ruin everything.”

“What’s everything?” Lup’s voice was soft, almost quiet (she didn’t have to be loud no one would hear her anyway).

A showman’s grin (drop the act, Koko, she’s not in your audience) spread it’s way across Taako’s face (wrong wrong wrong she was always allowed to be vulnerable with him and he with her he shouldn’t have an act on) as he gestured to the kitchen table, “Let’s sit and talk. Tea?”

It was a fake offer (why was he being so fake around her), and Lup didn’t bother answering as she took a seat at his table. In a practiced move, she leaned back in her chair, kicking her boots up on the table.

A tut of his tongue and Taako pushed her feet off of his table, “Don’t be rude, Lulu.”

“Don’t call me Lulu.” The words were out of her mouth before she realized that this was still Taako, still her twin and her heart and her companion.

It was a few seconds (was he figuring out how to react?) before the hurt flickered across Taako’s face.

She forced herself to be convinced that it was an act, that she didn’t actually hurt her twin brother. “What’s everything.” She redirected the conversation, desperate to ignore the fact that while her brother won’t be soft with her he can still be hurt by her.

A showman’s smile and a showman’s gesture as Taako spread his arms wide, “This...is everything.” His eyes shone with light (almost blinding and Lup had to look to the left of his face to stayed focused), and he paced in front of the table, “Lulu, how long were we separated?”

“Ten years, two hundred and seven days, four hours, and seven minutes.” The answer was immediate, the number branded into her brain. Years and years of loneliness in an umbrella and unable to think. She hated that fucking thing, that prison of black curtains and unending silence and boredom. Hated the panic and pure animalistic fear of

“Exactly,” His eyes (while unnatural and bright) softened, as if he pitied her (wrong wrong wrong Taako never pitied her, not in this condescending way), “I don’t want to lose anyone else. Never again.” There was an ounce of steel in his voice and Lup remembered his decade of loneliness. “I’m never going to be alone again and neither will any of us.” He turned his head from her, beginning to pace again.

“What….what are you doing?” Lup almost didn’t want to ask, didn’t want to face the truth that was slowing creeping upon her.

Taako fixed her with a glance (not a glare he’d never glare at her and for once Lup feels relief), “I know you know, Lup, I know you aren’t stupid.” He let his disguise self fall (it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, whenever her brother dropped his Disguise Self fall she knew), and Lup had to restrain herself from physically cringing away.

Her brother looked...normal, but not. His features and body were average like they were after Wonderland, and if she focused on everything seperate it was like they were having another 2 am talk. But when she looks at his face, Lup was looking the truth in the face.

“You’re a relic.” The words were barely audible, fueled by the memories of cities turned to black glass, a city stuck in time, two lovers temporarily stuck in time, two liches laughing over the sound of a chiming bell.

Taako’s face split into a wide grin, the tendrils shifting across his face as they curled around all of his features. His eyes weren’t his own now, no soft brown that she’s seen reflected in the mirror before her. They were black with flickers of light that reminded her from the storm that she escaped again and again for a century. “Oh, Lup. I’m so, so much more than just a relic.” A glow filled him from within. Cracks in his skin were filled in with molten gold and light glowed from behind his eyes and his mouth like he was a hollowed out pumpkin for some childish holiday.

Hollow, that was the best word for him. A facsimile of her brother with none of what made Taako from TV. Empty charm that still captivated a room, but that’s all it did: captivate. He didn’t impress or wow or amaze, he captivated. And he seemed content to merely have them captivated. There was no mission with him, and she didn’t understand why...yet.

“You’re the…” Lup’s voice trailed off, unable to call her brother that. Unable to say that he was the Hunger, playing into the childish thought that if she didn’t say it out loud it would go away. The word that was plagued with resetting to the same form for one hundred years until they didn’t anymore.

“Hunger.” Taako finished her sentence (he had done this many times, classic twin stuff but this was the one time Lup wished he let it disappear into silence).

“How did this happen?” She asked, unable to stop the need to know. A masochistic need for her to know everything that happened to her brother in all it’s gorey details no matter how much she wanted to cover her ears with her hands and babble to drown his words out with meaningless noise. But she didn’t, her hands tightened on the arms of the chair until her knuckles turned white.

“You know how I got the last hit on ole Johnny boy?” Taako’s voice had the same familiar lilt, but Lup hated it all the same. He didn’t wait for her to nod or give any confirmation, “Well, I got one of his bonds. Connected from John to Merle than to me. And it latched on, desperate for something to keep it alive and stewed in me for the past two years.” And he laughed slightly (laughed like it was funny that he had a great ancient evil in him), “And then...you killed me.”

Lup felt ice water sink into her blood, this was her fault. Her brother would still be alive, still be unharmed (liar liar he would’ve been like this anyway). She killed him and he was corrupted. She remembers the feeling of it all. Of her body shambling towards him like she wasn’t his sister (his sister) and the feeling of her scythe sinking into him.

A wave of his hand (casual like the last time they saw each other she didn’t kill him. Casual like she apologized for something she didn’t need to) and he dismissed her (he doesn’t dismiss her, he’s her twin he’s supposed to listen to her and not act like one of their “caretakers”), “It’s fine, I’m happy you did it.” He grinned a jack-o-lantern grin, “Turns out one of those pretty little bits of the Light of Creation got stuck between planes when Jeffandrew tried to remove it all. If I died in the normal way, I would’ve stewed in that Soul Soup for eternity until I became the actual Hunger. But since you killed me, you got my lovely Angel of Death to bring me back, with two more extra things inside of me. And I can do what I’ve always needed to do on this plane with all of you.”

“What…” Lup swallowed, trying to wet her dry throat, “What do you need to do.”

There was a sort of frenzy that entered his eyes, a shining light that sent thrums of wrong through her veins, “I need to keep all of you safe.”

“What do you mean?” Lup was struck with the memory of a dragon she had fought, so protective of it’s hoard that it turned violent. Too protective and possessive that it turned blind towards anything that was needed.

“You see, it’s simple, Lulu.” He turned from her, his pace faster and more erratic as he gestured wildly, “If you all stay here with me, you’ll be safe! You and Barry’ll never have to go ghost again, Magnus’ll never lose anyone he loves again, Davenport will never lose what he lost again, even Lucretia-” There was a slight hiss to her name, “-will never lose her family again. Everyone can be happy, everyone can be safe.”

Lup decided to handle this like she handled the dragon, and attempted to appeal to his possessive nature, “Davenport will never be happy trapped in a home, and Magnus has his dog training zone.”

“Hmm, fair point. I’ll just give him a charm to keep an eye on him.” Taako shrugged, all ease and carelessness thought through. “Magnus...Magnus can stay. I’ll bring his dogs over and get him a house very close by and he’ll be happy here.”

“Koko, you can’t honestly think that anyone here would be happy being stuck here!” Now, now Lup stood up, fire raging in her eyes. There was a pang of wrongness chiming in her heart and she realized that the wrongness was him. The wrongness was her brother.

“I’ll make them happy,” Fire, equal and identical to her own, blossomed in his eyes, “Lulu, come on!” He shouted at her (he never shouted like this at her, never with this annoyance and vitriol in his voice), slamming his fist (knuckles down) on the table. Cracks of the same golden light that was shining from inside of him shot out from his fist into the wood.

“Magnus is going to kill you for that.” Lup’s voice is soft, as if this was a goof that had gone too far (if this was a goof, it was weeks past too far, seconds past too far). As if he wasn’t just talking about how he’d keep them trapped and complacent. As if he had accidentally set a table Magnus carved on fire when they played with their magic.

A grin tore itself through his lips and he laughed, unclenching the fist and pressing his palm against the wood. Near instantaneously, the cracks of light (Light?) reacted to his touch, and shot back towards his hand. The wood sealed back up as if it had never been cracked and the light was buzzing in her twin’s hand, “No...no he won’t.”

“He’ll know about it.”

“Why? You’re going to tell him?” Taako tilted his head at her, arching one of his eyebrows at her, “You’re going to tell him and Merle all about my plan to keep them safe-”

“-keep them captive you mean.” Lup interuppted, eyes flashing.

“Keep them safe.” Taako repeated, hard steel entering his tone. “So come on, tell me. Tell me that you’re going to betray your twin’s trust and spill all my secrets.”

Lup turned around, hands clenched to fists at her sides. Her face was drawn and hidden from him, “I’m doing this for you, Koko, you’ll thank me when this is over.”

“I’m doing this for you too.” The words were spoken a lot closer than they should’ve been as Lup felt a slash of stinging cold across her back.

Her eyes went wide as she stumbled back into the arms of her brother. Lup tilted her head up, eyes filled with memories of a similar stinging pain sometime and someplace else. The feeling of deft hands catching her arms mixed with the memory of deft hands snatching her gauntlet from her. But instead of being met with unfeeling gray stone walls, Lup was met with the unfeeling black eyes of her twin brother.

“Don’t worry, Lulu. I remember you this time, you’ll be out once I figured out how to keep you safe too.” His words swam, fuzzing at the edges as her senses faded from her.

A lich form erupted from the crumbled body of the elf, and as she turned around (phantasmal and resplendent), she was met with the tip of a very familiar umbrella.

Already, Taako’s form was shifting, but not shifting back. It shifted and shifted, and adjusted itself until Lup saw herself holding her own body. Until she saw her own body (face, hair, features Taako was are you doing) pointing her weapon at her and smiling.

“It’s a good thing we already look so alike.” The words were spoken in an exact replica of her voice as Lup felt her ghostly form begin to get sucked into the Umbra Staff for the second time on Faerun.

When Lup didn’t come out from the silent kitchen, Magnus and Merle flashed each other worried looks. As he stood to confront Taako (he might not win, but at least Lup won’t be alone), the kitchen door swung open and Lup exited.

She flashed him a dazzling smile, and flicked her hand, “My brother doesn’t want to be disturbed in the kitchen and he told me to tell you all that if you interrupt him, he’ll hit you with the KrEbStAr.” Lup laughed and Magnus stepped back (or, stepped back as much as could without falling onto the couch) as he noticed an umbrella swinging from her belt, “Now, I gotta go figure out what Mr-” There was a slip, a tiny one, but a noticeable enough for Magnus to know something had gone wrong. “-what babe’s doing in the basement.” With a flutter of her fingers, Lup moved towards the basement and shut the door behind her with a jarring slam.

When the door closed, Magnus picked Merle up (much to the latter’s distaste). He hauled him into Angus’s bedroom and slammed the door behind them, “That’s not Lup, Merle.”

[Part 11]

[arcanelaurels]

Can you write something whete Taako does something that makes Madame Director really miss their sibling relationship during the stolen Century...but she has to be the boss now (sorry for the specificity 😅)

Listen,,, I read this ask and was literally like “Is this person reading my goddamn mind right now??” Because I’ve literally had almost a full fic for this exact concept hanging in my drafts for a week now but I haven’t had a chance to edit and post it until you blessed me with this request so thank you.

Please don’t ever apologize for requesting Taako and Lucretia dynamic bc I love that shit and could write a five page paper on why it should’ve been more of a thing in the actual podcast

(also it just occurred to me that this may not be as lighthearted as you might’ve been hoping for but feel free to request a more lighthearted one if you want)

“Taako, are you well?”

“Yeah, I’m fine! You’re not my mom!”

Lucretia bit her tongue to prevent from outwardly reacting to that. It was uncanny how often these boys would react to things the way they used to when the whole crew was together, despite their memory loss. The first few times it had happened - back when they’d first joined the Bureau - she would have moments of panic and wondered if they actually remembered some things, if there were things she’d forgotten to remove.

They didn’t, though. The voidfish did its job well. Still, Taako’s words threw her off a bit. It wasn’t the first time he’d ever said that to her, but she knew he wouldn’t remember the actual first time.

Cycle 4 was the first time Lup died. The world they’d landed in was in a post-apocalyptic sort of state, and was largely unpopulated, save for a few survivors. A couple months in, the crew had decided that the location they’d landed in wasn’t ideal, and moved the Starblaster. When they landed again, Taako and Lup had been sent out on a scouting mission to further detail what surrounded them. The two had unknowingly wandered into a rogue’s territory, and he got the drop on them, stabbing Lup in the heart. Taako had immediately rounded on him and killed him, but the damage was done. Lup was dead before the rogue hit the ground.

Everyone knew by then, of course, that death wasn’t permanent. Not for them. Still, in the early days it was hard to deal with it when someone died. And Lup’s absence was felt more than anyone had previously anticipated.

Back then, four years had seemed like a lot of time to the crew that had yet to know just how much time they were going to spend together. By that point, everyone had thought they knew pretty much all there was to know about each other. What no one knew, though, was how different Taako would be without Lup.

For weeks, he was sullen and stuck to his cabin. Everyone understood. Well, they tried to. No one really knew how to understand the bond that existed between the twins. But they understood that he needed time to come to terms with Lup’s absence, even if it was only temporary.

After about a month, Taako started reappearing, and on most days he seemed almost back to normal. But there was a definite lack of energy from him without Lup to bring him out of his shell. And there was the occasional day where he would retreat into his cabin and refuse to eat or talk to anyone.

On one such day a few months after Lup’s death, it was just Lucretia and Taako on the Starblaster. Everyone else had gone off on separate missions, and the two had been left to stay with the ship, just in case.

Taking a breath to brace herself, Lucretia balanced the tray she was holding in one hand and used the other to knock on Taako’s door. “Taako?”

No response. She let herself in. Taako was lying on his bed, facing the wall that it was up against. He didn’t turn around to acknowledge her as she walked in, but she could tell he was awake.

She hesitated for a moment before speaking. “I...brought you some soup.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

No response. Lucretia frowned and placed the tray on the end table near his bed. She gingerly sat on the edge of his bed, turning her head a bit so she could see him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine! You’re not my mom!” He sounded annoyed.

“I-I wasn’t-” Lucretia sighed, turning so her back was to him. She folded her hands in her lap and stared at them, trying to figure out how to word what she wanted to say. She was much worse with her words out loud as opposed to in writing. Maybe she should’ve written something out beforehand. No, it probably would’ve seemed less genuine.

She took a breath. “Taako-”

“Save it.”

Surprised at the interruption, Lucretia turned to face him. He was still facing the wall. “Sorry?” She asked.

“I’ve heard the speech a hundred times from everyone else,” He said. After a beat, he twisted around a bit so he could look at her. “I know Lup’s coming back after this cycle, okay? It doesn’t make it any easier.”

Lucretia frowned. “That wasn’t what I was going to say.”

Taako stared at her for a moment before turning back to face the wall. She turned her back to him again.

“I-I was just going to say...” She trailed off, trying to figure out her wording. “I know that none of us can really understand what you’re going through. I’ve never had siblings, myself, but my moms...” She trailed off again. “When we left our homeworld and I left them behind and that...that thing that’s following us attacked, I actually, uh, cried myself to sleep every night for months.”

She heard Taako move - maybe to turn and look at her again - but she didn’t turn around to face him. It was easier to talk when she didn’t have to see other people react.

She continued. “But I, uh, now I think of you - and Magnus, and Lup, and everyone else of course - I think of all of you as my family, now. And that...that makes it just a bit easier for me when I wonder what happened to my parents. What happened to everything that thing consumes. And I-I know that none of us could ever replace Lup for you, but-”

Her words were cut off when Taako unexpectedly threw his arm around her from behind, his head buried in her shoulder. She felt her eyes tear up reflexively, and blinked rapidly in order to quell them. Taako was only a casually physical person; he would prop an elbow on others’ shoulders while standing or even lay across people’s laps when he was bored. But when it came to emotional touching, he preferred to avoid it, so Lucretia knew that this hug wasn’t a small gesture for him.

“I’m sorry,” He murmured into her shoulder, so quiet she almost didn’t hear it.

She swallowed, praying that her voice wouldn’t break when she spoke. “For what?”

He let go of her and she turned to face him as he leaned back against the wall, sitting up now. He crossed his arms and looked away, his ears flattening as if he were embarrassed that he’d just hugged her.

“I’ve never thought of that,” He said. “Of how you - all of you - everyone else had family that was left behind when we had to escape. Family you couldn’t save.”

Lucretia was conscious of how odd it was to hear him speak without his usual added-in phrases. Taako took a breath. “For most of my life, Lup was all I ever had for family, but at least we managed to stay together. I can’t imagine if I’d had to leave her behind.”

Lucretia recalled how the twins had fought to both go on the Starblaster. The IPRE had originally only allowed for six crew members, but when only one of the twins was accepted (the rest of the crew never knew which one), they both fought tooth and nail, arguing that the ship needed two Arcanists/Chefs until the Institute relented.

They were both silent for a while, neither knowing what to say. After a few moments, Taako reached over and picked up the tray that Lucretia had set down on his bedside table. He took a spoonful of it and put it in his mouth, then promptly spat it back out.

“What the hell is in this? It’s awful!” He said, laughing.

Lucretia felt her face burn. “I-I’m not really a cook. I just threw some stuff in the pot.”

Taako made a face and gingerly put the tray back on the table. “Well, we need to fix that immediately, homie.” He pushed past her and stood up. “I know Magnus can make a decent pot roast, but if none of the rest of you chuckleheads can cook and Lup and I both beef it next cycle, you’re all up shit creek.”

Lucretia couldn’t help but chuckle as she stood up to follow him out of the room.

He turned his head slightly as he walked. “And you better bring a fresh journal, ‘cuz I know you love to take notes and apparently I have a lot to teach you.”

After that, Taako was more or less back to normal for the rest of the cycle, though he was still a bit distant. After it ended and Lup was rethreaded back onto the ship, the first thing Taako did was tackle her with a hug while everyone else moved closer to welcome Lup back.

“Aw, what? Did you miss me or somethin’?” Lup asked her brother.

“Pfft, no,” Taako rolled his eyes, letting go of Lup and moving to prop an elbow up on Lucretia’s shoulder. “In fact, I replaced you,” He said.

Looking back, Lucretia realized that she should’ve known how much losing Lup would change Taako. She wished she could redo it somehow, but she knew that wasn’t possible. What’s done is done.

She pulled herself out of her thoughts and back to the present, to the mission she was about to send these three on. Merle was saying something about how she always referred to them as “boys" and they were complaining about all of the training she’d been putting them through.

Lucretia struggled to find her words. “I, I know and I’m… I’m sorry for leaning on you as hard as I have been lately, I just...” She sighed. “I know what’s waiting for you on your next mission and I just want you to be at peak performance.”

She continued on, confessing the truth about what had happened to her in Wonderland and sending them on their way. For a moment, when she’d taken down the illusion on her portrait for them, she was afraid that seeing her younger self would somehow jog their memories. But it didn’t. Of course it didn’t. You can’t jog memories that aren’t there anymore.

She sighed and put her head in her hands after they left. If they came back - no, when they came back, she corrected herself, as if changing the wording of her thoughts would make it more probable. When they came back, she owed them an explanation. They deserved to know the truth, and they were going to find out eventually. It couldn’t stay hidden for much longer.

She looked back on the memories that she had, bonding with each of them on the Starblaster. She knew it would never be the same after they found out what she’d done. Taako would never forgive her, especially after he realized that Lup was...

Lucretia was going to have to live with it. After all, how could she expect Taako to forgive her when she knew she could never forgive herself?

[giraffles]

Stay The Night

forgot to post this one here, whoops! some post-canon sweet taakitz for y’all, because I’m weak for these boys. 

Stay The Night (Taako/Kravitz)

His solution, brilliantly, is to not sleep. Not until he falls over from exhaustion or passes out while cooking. He's even got everyone fooled that he's a-okay. At least he thinks he does. No one says otherwise, and that suits him just fine.

you can also read it on AO3 here!

The world doesn't end. And that's a good thing, because they didn't have a backup plan. There was no second chance, no desperate bid for freedom, no tedious reset. It was all or nothing. And they came out on top with all the sweet victory they could ever want. Against all odds, they won. They won, and it's a flood of joy and relief and tinged with a little disbelief. And it's absolutely exhausting. Taako isn't sure if it's physical or mental or just an ungodly combination of both. Maybe it's the weight of over one hundred years of memories finally catching up to him. It's a lot to have lived through, and then to have lived through again, much less cobble back together a coherent understanding of his place in the world. Like, holy fuck. That's a lot to wade through. Sometimes it gives him such a bad headache that it's easier not to think about it, and focus on the here and now. On rebuilding. On reconnecting with those he'd lost but some how found again against all odds. Lup has taken to finding new ways to scare the living hell out of everyone, from floating through the bureau at night to phasing through walls. She even startled him and wasted a whole pot of soup when she popped her lich head up through it. (He had chased her, for all the good it wouldn't do, while she cackled and made full use of her incorporeal form. It had been equal parts nostalgic and aggravating.) Magnus carves ducks in between rebuilding jobs, even though Fisher has long since departed their universe. Merle is trying, and mostly succeeding, to boost morale as they shift through the wreckage, finding what can be saved and mourning what cannot. Everyone is there. Everyone is safe. And yet there's this looming feeling of impending doom that just won't quit. It's as though that through the act remembering, Taako has forgotten what it's like to feel safe. Ignorance really was a sort of bliss, as much as the fuzzed out edges of his life had caused a constant turmoil, because now it's a struggle to stay on top of everything. So much is the same and yet so much can never be the same again. You can't go through something like the apocalypse and not be changed. Sure, at his core he's still Taako, from TV, a living brand name, a hero to be sung about down the ages; but now he's a different kind of Taako. Literally. It still takes a lot to convince himself he doesn't need the illusion spell every morning, and sometimes he does it anyway. Just a little. Nothing too noticeable, but enough to make him feel better, especially on the very likely chance that he hasn't slept much. Sleep is hard now. Meditation is straight out the fuckin' window. Nights and days get stretched together when he's plagued with either insomnia, or worse, the dreams. No, not dreams, because that would imply fantastical but harmless mind adventures. These are memories. Always back to the goddamn memories. The worst ones, the times they almost didn't make it, when he had to watch friends die or feel the cold sting of death himself. Or memories that his brain decided to make up new, more grim endings; his sister, turned to ash, his boy, bleeding out on the floor. Endless rounds of games in a horror carnival that leaves everyone he ever cared about in pieces. Things that leave him awake and gasping and on the edge of tears. Things like that. His solution, brilliantly, is to not sleep. Not until he falls over from exhaustion or passes out while cooking. He's even got everyone fooled that he's a-okay. At least he thinks he does. No one says otherwise, and that suits him just fine.

Date night rolls around. Taako has been looking forward to it all month, a distraction and an excuse to monopolize Death's free time. No business talk. No family. No not-actually-family-but-kinda-sorta-maybe-adopted family. Just the two of them, together, for a nice evening. And god, did he need a break. There's still so many loose ends to tie up, so many things that still need to be sorted out. Not to mention the new void of what the hell he was going to do with his life now. Kravitz stops when he sees him. He squints at Taako, and frowns. "Are you okay?" "Just fine, babe," as fine as he could be, really, "Why, didja forget how gross I looked now?" When all else fails, self-deprecating humor is where it's at. He can preen and put himself down at the same time. Win-win. Kravitz pauses, brows knitted and looking at him intently, seemingly gathering up the right words. "Taako," he begins carefully, "When was the last time you slept?" "Dunno. What's today?" The reaper sighs. He rubs his forehead. Taako drapes himself lovingly in his arms. He's dizzy on an endorphin high and ready for a night out on the town with his most beloved bae. Even if said bae keeps looking at him with such a sour face, and-- "You're going to bed. Right now." "Oh no--" Taako attempts to bolt, but has already made the fatal mistake of allowing Kravitz so close. He might not technically be alive, but he has all the strength of a man his size, and Kravitz has him in a vice grip. He struggles. Any other day of the week and he'd be admiring those guns, but today they're helping commit a great betrayal. Taako whines. "Babe! C'mon!" "No," Kravitz picks him up and starts carrying him inside, "You look like I should be collecting your soul soon, and frankly, that's a little alarming." Taako does his best to wriggle out of his grasp, but it's fruitless. Kravitz can be just as stubborn as he is. Taako resorts to flailing and complaining. However, neither of those slow down the reaper, who's drawing ever closer to his dormitory door. "I don't need sleep! It's for the weak!" "Yes, you do," Somehow Kravitz manages to keep a hold of him even as Taako flips himself upside down, which is both impressive and infuriating, "We can go out another time." Taako huffs and crosses his arms, braid swinging freely and dragging on the floor. This sucks. He can't even get one lousy night to not think about how overwhelming everything is. Kravitz is the worst and he hates him. (He doesn't, of course, he adores his hot boyfriend who's sometimes a skeleton, who's both a badass and a giant dork. He's just mad at him at the moment.) Taako gives him the silent treatment. It's harder to do than it looks, because he'd much rather be vocal about the injustice that's happening to him. Kravitz sighs again. "Taako--" "I'm not talking to you." "Love, please," the pet names have come out, and he resolves to not let it affect him, "You know I care, right?" "I guess," Taako pouts as he's gently set on a couch, "But I wanted to spend time with you." Kravitz looks conflicted. Taako sulks and makes a point to avoid eye contact. So maybe he's a little cranky for only sleeping three hours out of as many days. It's still not fair. "I could stay." Kravitz says. He blinks dumbly up at him. "Do what now?" "Stay with you. While you get some rest. That's a lot creepier out loud than it was in my head." "Do you even need to sleep?" "No," Kravitz admits, "But I wouldn't mind. I mean, if you wanted me to. I don't have to. But I could, I have the whole night off, not that I expected to... do anything. For the whole night. I should stop taking now? I'm stopping now. Sorry." He can't believe he's in love with such a ridiculous, stupid, wonderful, and kind person. Entity? The definition was kind of up in the air for that one. Taako doesn't have to look to know that Kravitz is blushing, probably all the way up to his ears, off-kilter and rambling. He's still wrapping his head around the idea that there are persons out there who, honest to gods, want to put Taako first. Taako doesn't even think Taako deserved that. Sure, that's not what he tells people-- because no one needs to know how bad the inner battle gets. In some ways remembering has made it easier. In others, it's that much harder now. He thinks, that maybe, it would be nice to have someone at his side. Someone who liked him before his life's story got broadcast through reality. Taako considers the proposal for a moment. "Okay." "Okay?" "Okay as in, you best be ready to get super snuggled. I'm clingy as hell." Kravitz gives him a shy smile. "I think I can handle that."

Kravitz has a bigger frame than he does-- nothing like Magnus or Killian who are built like brick shit houses, but he's not as slight as Taako is. Even as a flipwizard, there's not much he can do about genetics and non-athletic career choices. It takes him a minute to fish out some of his more drapey clothes that have half a chance of fitting Kravitz. As much as he enjoys the suit and cloak ensemble, it's not exactly practical sleepwear. And it would be a shame to excessively wrinkle it. Unless it was gonna be in a sexy way, but that should probably wait until another time, when he's fully present for all the fun. Taako's fanciest skirt goes flying across the room, landing on a bookshelf that has less books than colorful knick-knacks and choice pieces of junk. The first time Kravtiz had come over, in a panic he had tried to cover everything in sheets instead of cleaning up, but somehow managed to trip and pull them all down at once. It had been equal parts hysterical and mortifying. Kravitz said that his collection of garbage was 'charming'. Taako still isn't sure he believes that, but it's still sweet. What's also sweet is the way that Kravitz pointedly looks away, trying to be respectful or something-- as though they haven't fucked wildly on various flat (and not so flat) surfaces around his room. He's flustered and it's still as cute as the first time it happened. And nothing would top that first morning, that so called walk of shame where Merle gave them a knowing wink when they came down for breakfast, and Taako had 'accidentally' burned his pancakes in return. At least everyone else had a little more tact and kept their opinions and eyes to themselves. None of them also wanted burned pancakes. But he sets aside those more recent and pleasant memories for pajamas instead, wiggling into them and undoing his complicated orante braids as Kravitz dons his spare clothes. They're still a little tight on him. Taako is very okay with this. "Just sleeping." Kravitz says firmly, catching his gaze. He pouts back. "Not even a little smooching?" The reaper pauses and seems to think on it a moment, though he knows what the answer will probably be. Taako makes his eyes extra big and disarming anyway, having perfected the cute puppy look years ago. You could never be too sure. "Fine, a little smooching," Kravitz yields, "But you have to get some rest." Taako dramatically falls forward into those strong arms again, knowing he'll be easily caught and securely held. "Then take me to bed, big guy." He doesn't miss that breathless laugh, and revels in the way his heart lifts as he's easily swung up and onto his unmade bed. There's no illusions here that if Taako really wanted to he could have a dozen different spells incapacitating his lover, leaving escape for him wide open. Power acquired over decades of study and practice and mad dashes across planes has given him abilities previously only talked about in legends. And so maybe he is a legend, something that should be mysterious and untouchable, always sought but never found. Just like a light they'd once chased through realities. A story to be sung, a name to be called in hushed tones, an abstract ideal to be strived towards. So it's nice, he thinks, when Kravitz looks at him like a person. When Kravitz gets frustrated with him, exasperated, or even bemused. When he looks at Taako like he's the whole world and then kisses him like it's ending all over again. It's nice to have that grounding force to remind him that he's not entirely a fuck up and that he's also not just a product of good marketing. He never thought it would matter to him so much. But it does, and every action is an affirmation, from the way Kravitz smiles at him to the way he runs fingers so gently through his hair. It's wonderful and it hurts and it's so good. He's drunk on the feeling of being wanted. "It's... not too cold, is it?" Kravitz asks him nervously as he curls up on that broad chest, nestling into the crook between neck and shoulder. Yes, he's cool to the touch-- he's never been anything approaching warm since Taako met him. But he's gotten used to it, adapted even, because Kravitz doesn't feel icy and doesn't leave him with a chill. It's almost pleasant in weird way. "S' fine," he mumbles back sleepily, "Kinda nice, actually." Already something is different from all the other times he'd recently crawled into bed or dozed off in the foyer. Something shifts, puts a damper on the rolling anxiety and dread. It takes him another few long moments to realize it's an aura of safety that he's been missing. A bit of calm in a turbulent sea that's been threatening to sink him for weeks. There's no heartbeat beneath his ear, and he's sure the breathing part is either habit or for his own benefit, but it's a piece of normalcy that soothes beyond a doubt. It's something he hadn't realized he even needed. Something solid. Something real. He wraps his arm around Kravitz and holds tight. Taako hadn't been kidding about the clinging part, knowing full well from his days of youth he had a tendency to latch onto things (or someones) in his sleep. This is still different, a conscious effort not to let go of a tie keeping him close to home. Because petty fears and insecurities only seemed to grow as time went on, feeding on each other and plaguing every thought both conscious and not, bringing him to the vicious cycle he was now caught in. And while usually the words would flow so easily, he now found them strangled in his throat. They died before Taako can give them a voice. Kravitz must have felt the tension reverberating through his body, because a hand comes up to push circles into his back. Yes, they've banged countless times, but this is a different intimacy. A different context for something slow and sweet. And he suddenly feels bad for being so needy and high maintenance, but can't summon the energy to do anything about it. "I'm right here," Kravitz murmurs into the darkness, "I'm not going anywhere." And really, that's all he needs to know. That there's someone there. That it's safe to let go.